I don’t chew gum, nor does Chris.

Yet Ali is completely fascinated by it.

Not with the someone-blowing-a-bubble part, or even with the chewing-it-endlessly-until-your-jaw-falls-off part. She’s never tasted it. Her obsession with bubblegum is with the stuck-under-the-table type.

Her favorite hobby at any eating establishment is to get under the table and inspect the bubblegum that’s mysteriously taken up residence.

When she first discovered this amazing phenomenon, she took great pleasure in touching it. I’m no germophobe, but I get chills up my spine every time I read that sentence.

However, I have spent much time explaining the perils of touching bubblegum – how it is yucky, nasty, disgusting, germy, gross, and generally detrimental to all aspects of her mother’s life.

Fortunately, she’s impressionable. She has modified her hobby to simply getting under tables, inspecting the chewy tenants, and then giving a full report: “There’s a BIG HUGE bright green piece of yucky bubblegum under the table!!!”

** ** **

The other day, I had to get her a new tube of toothpaste. It was her lucky day – I found Princess Toothpaste! And Sparkly! And Pink!

Obviously, this made me a millionaire in Mommy Points.

And then I spent every last one of them, quite accidentally.

I unwittingly mentioned the flavor. “Yumm!! It’s BUBBLEGUM flavored!!”

WHAT?!?! That’s so Yucky!!!”

Brushing teeth has never been a fight. But it sure is now. “This tastes YUCKY!!! (spit spit) It’s SOOO gross!!! (hock hock) It tastes like bubblegum!! (gag gag) Bubblegum is SOOO yucky!!!”

Obviously, this was a rookie mistake.

Mommy Rule # 571: ALWAYS consider your toddler’s frame of reference before introducing ANYTHING new into their lives.

If I visualized my toothpaste as tasting like dirty, nasty, germy left-behind-by-strangers bubblegum, I’d probably be gagging too.


Actually, now I am.

17 thoughts on “Rachel and the Very Chewy Mistake.

  1. That is so gross (the pic) when I figured out what it was. At first I thought it was chocolate covered something.

  2. Nice! I have done something like this before and tried to backtrack. Unfortunately, I can't remember an example. Joe once found gum stuck to a rail and chewed it!

  3. I took that picture in Charleston. Apparently, everyone in Charleston waits to eject their gum at that exact power pole.

  4. That pole just made me die a little inside. Blecch.

    P.S. I borrowed some of Emma's bubblegum toothpaste one. Just FYI, it is pretty nasty.

  5. Like you said, just a rookie mistake. The kid toothpaste is gross so she is not lying to you. I would just go back to the plain old adult toothpaste and leave the opened kids toothpaste as a bathroom decoration. That's how my bathroom looks anyway.

  6. I'm cringing at the thought of Jackson touching ABC gum. Yuck!

    And bubble gum flavored toothpaste sounds disgusting to me, but Jackson loves it!

  7. MMMmmmm…. chewed up bubblegum on an old, nasty telephone pole. Don't know why on earth she thought it was yucky!!

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