This post was pre-approved by the husband contained wherein.

Chris didn’t have the camera for his and Ali’s epic farm ride in the fancy red truck, so all of the pictures of their trip were taken with his iPhone.

And, when I went to download the pics off of it, I went ahead and downloaded them all, trying to be nice and provide backup services.

And, because his iPhone hates me because I put it’s first scratch ever on it with my engagement ring and then was too afraid to tell Chris for three days because we were on a date in Atlanta and I didn’t want him to be sad at me or ME to be sad at me while we were on our date and so I was nervous that he’d notice before I told him and he actually DID notice before I told him but he wasn’t upset because he’s like the best husband in the world, the iPhone saved all of it’s pictures in COMPLETELY random order.

(deep breath)

Which means that I had to go through ALL 587 iPhone pictures from the last two years to find the aforementioned farm pictures.

However, what the iPhone meant for evil, I shall blog for good.

It was pretty interesting – it reminded me of when I was a kid, and my Mom had a gallon Ziploc bag containing all of the rolls of film that she’d never gotten around to developing. They’d been in the same cabinet for years, but finally one year for her birthday, I took all 19 rolls to get them developed. We then went through them as a family, and remembered memories we had forgotten.

(When Ali reads this post in 10 years, her first question will be “What’s a ROLL of film?”)

Anyway, that’s what going through his iPhone was like…plus a few hilarious insights into my husband’s head.

For instance – he wasn’t faking his excitement about our Mall’s new Lego store…he was so excited that he felt the need to take this picture – of just the “Coming Soon” poster:
Picture 001

And, I would say that approximately 30% of his 587 photos were of food:Picture 094

(I like the angelic glow on his food. I can hear the angels singing “aaaaaaaaaah”.)

…Just in case I wasn’t sure already what the way to a man’s heart was…

Speaking of which, I’m glad I made it into this photo with the food – at least I am important enough to share a photo frame with it:Picture 042

Also, I got to visualize his paranoid-feeding-of-Ali habits when I’m not around:Picture 099

Apparently, messy toddlers are best to be avoided at all costs…or at least at the cost of a whole roll of Bounty.

Speaking of what Chris and Ali do when I’m not around…

Picture 569

Now, I would like to say that I didn’t find this as hilarious as he did, but I can’t lie on my blog….

Picture 304

Of course, iPhone pictures aren’t the best in quality – often times blurry:Picture 068Just call us the chocolate milkshake.

Sometimes these issues of blur can create scary effects, such as stump-toddler:
Picture 093

And this legendary photo, capturing that time that we played magician and assistant:Picture 290

We still have no idea how that picture happened.

But I JUST realized that he took that picture on the aforementioned Atlanta trip RIGHT after I scratched his phone.

All of a sudden I feel like I’ve been sent a death threat from an iPhone.

Another issue that I am SURE is the iPhone’s and not Chris’ fault is the proliferation of upside-down pictures…

Like the three monkeys:Picture 004

Or this one, and early picture of me and Ali duck-feeding, apparently in China:Picture 026

Speaking of Ali, he got this incriminating picture of her deconstructing the rock wall at The Fish Market:

Picture 065

But how could anyone not forgive her???Picture 464

He also managed to catch some priceless family moments with his beloved iPhone, like this picture of our exuberant family on vacation:
Picture 010

Obviously, we were all getting our glumness out of the way in one moment.

He also caught this one, a precious moment that I’d like to title “Breakfast Stare-down with Papa”:

Picture 040

And (although it’s hard to see since I didn’t Photoshop these photos in any way), his home-from-work greeting by all three of his girls – Me, Ali, and the cat:Picture 006

Now this next picture of me walking into the airport to go to Blogher thankfully did NOT turn into a priceless family picture. He told me later this was the “Last glimpse of Mommy just in case her plane crashes picture”. Picture 314

That man. He thinks ahead too much sometimes.

But luckily, he was able to take this picture three days later, of Ali waving to “Mommy’s Blue Plane” as it landed safely:Picture 048

And then, of course, there are tailgating pictures.

Like the satellite feed as he was trying to get the dish set up:
Picture 259

The finally working system:
Picture 502
Horribly happy in-game family photos:
Picture 289

Picture 344

The tailgating wings, as he cooked them,Picture 174

And the traditional spot for all wing remains:Picture 269
And finally, I think he takes pictures of his dreams for the future:Picture 126

She looks thrilled about this plan.

Look for a Sequel to Things Found on my Husband’s iPhone later in the week, to be published on B-Sides!!

19 thoughts on “Things Found on My Husband’s iPhone.

  1. He definitely got some good pics with his iPhone. I love the one where you are split in half. How did that happen, I wonder. The one with the entire role of Bounty on Ali while eating is a keeper!

  2. loving this post in a big way! =)

    we've got some duckies out here if ali really wants to come visit…

    It's kind of like spying on your husband…but funnier!

  3. That was great. At first, I thought Ali just had one of those disposable bibs on but then when I recognized the pattern and the fact that it covered all of herI bust out laughing. I'm going to have to show it to Dave or maybe not I really thought noone was more paranoid than him. Thanks for the laughs this morning.
    Oh yeah, watch out for that phone. I would not be alone in the house with it. LOL
    And almost forgot loved the pics of Baby Ali-so precious.

  4. I am the one with the silly pictures on my blackberry! Chad's are either of me, the girls, or clothes he is trying to buy the girls and just checking to see if I like them.

  5. 1. I love random pictures
    2. I love Ali's Alabama bow
    3. You look super skinny in the airport picture.
    3. I have lots of food pics too!
    4. Miss you :(

  6. How fun!! Loved getting to see Chris's perspective on the three necessities of life: food, family, and football! Haha!!

  7. What an awesome post…having had the pleasure of meeting the family it means that much more…you two have what we all dream of.

  8. I wonder what my husband has cooking on his camera. Yes, I know I didn't say iphone because we don't have cool toys like that.

  9. What a fun post! I love random pictures which catalog chunks of time like chocolate chips in a cookie. Wait, what? Sorry, I'm on cold medicine. Don't mind me.

  10. I almost fell off the couch from laughing when I saw the picture of Ali in the paper towel guards. My dad is OCD about kids getting food on them while eating and I am shocked he hasn't done that to my nephew.

  11. Chris sure has some very interesting and quite hilarious pictures on his phone!
    My favorite one is Ali covered in paper towels!

  12. Oh my heavens…i about died laughing all the way through this post! my hubby enjoyed it, too! Haha. I'm not sure which was funnier, the pictures or your commentary! You crack me up!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *