Dear Mister-Genius-Who-Created-The-Self-Cleaning-Oven:
Do you think that you could apply your oh-so-amazing abilities to create other self-cleaning Appliances? Namely, a self-cleaning refrigerator?
You know, where it could sense when food is past it’s prime (the premium models could even tell before it grew any green fuzz), empty it, put it into the dishwasher, and oh – take out the trash while you’re at it?
Also – what if it could keep an electronic map of the contents on the fridge – so that you could look at a panel on the door and immediately know that the Sour Cream with the most promising expiration date is the one in the bottom left corner, NOT the one on the top right, which may or may not be just a sour cream container with fuzzy peas in it?
Sincerely,
Someone that is SOO over cleaning out the refrigerator.
Dear Proctor and Gamble:
I highly recommend that if you are going to sell products specifically for women, that you hire female marketing executives for those sectors of your ginormous organization.
I mean seriously – you people are a multi-billion dollar company – surely someone has the brains enough to realize that?
No, I guess that I don’t know for a FACT that you don’t have female marketing executives…
Except for the fact that NO woman in her right mind would have EVER signed off on THIS marketing campaign:
Word of Advice: Women do NOT want to be told to cheer up when they are in need of your product.
In fact, something about that sentence can take an otherwise happy female and tap into the inner most hormonal depths of her soul and make her want to immediately find the closest man and make him PAY for the sacrifices that us women make just to be women.
Maybe try something more calming like, “Here’s a Box of Chocolates to go along with our product – take a moment, sit down, and know that you are appreciated.”
Or maybe something sympathetic, such as, “I know that you may or may not feel happy right now, and that is completely and totally appropriate. But no matter how you feel, know that WE understand.”
Or, if you don’t like those, then I guarantee you that just being silent and having NO slogan at all would be better that your current one.
Sincerely,
A Normally Happy Woman, (as long as someone’s not telling me to have a happy misery.)
Dear French People:
You have funny words. And even funnier combinations of words.
The End.
I am so with you on the fridge. I just dread doing it but am always so glad when I finish. And then I promise myself I will not let it get that bad again. ha ha ha ha
AMEN on that always campaign! You are SOOOOO right! lol
I hate that Always signature!
I'm with you on both!
AMEN and AMEN!
The Dear French People one is the BEST. I laughed so hard at that one. Wow.
You must invent that fridge and patent it because I neeeeeed it right now!
:)
Amen and Amen and Amen!
#1: cleaning out the fridge is evil. That's why I don't do it.
#2: Men should tread carefully during that time of the month, and youwould think a company that made money off of it would totally understand. . .Are these men not married?
#3: French people are funny.
lol French people are funny. But I'm sure we're funny to someone else as well. Actually I think British people find us quite hysterical.
That is really funny, Rachel! Love reading your blog!!
You mean, you've never BURNED the grime out of your fridge or bought a douche for your phone?
Haha, the French showerhead is great! I hate cleaning out the fridge too…mostly b/c I know something is going bad and is going to smell so I just leave it in there for a long, LONG time until by the time I do actually take it out it smells so bad that the neighbors want to call HAZMAT. Yuck.
Laughing too hard to come up with a comment!!!
What goes into the fridge really never comes out the same.
Funny stuff. Personally, I'm hoping for the self-cleaning toilet.
I don't know if I would have noticed the french words. TOO FUNNY.
Yeah, I refuse to have a happy period.
Very funny! I took french and I have no idea how that combination of words means "handheld shower massage"!