Oh, hi there. (Ahem.) So remember that post that I wrote last week about Zulily? Yeah. So, that very same afternoon, I received a package in the mail – one of my Zulily orders. As I mentioned before, the one-click ordering makes it a wee bit too easy to order without thinking too hard, and […]
Regarding the Fate of my Hand.
To fully understand the story of what happened to my hand, you must first have an understanding of where I live. Our neighborhood is adjacent to a very prestigious suburb of Birmingham. We have no pretenses that our adjacency makes us included in any way – we are unincorporated, not belonging to any city. Which […]
The Elevator Incident.
So my friend Christen and I went to the mall on Wednesday. …along with our two strollers and five kids. …ages 4, 3, 2, 10 months, and 8 months. (Each child, by the way, adds degree of difficulty points in the classical mall game Avoid the Kiosk Predators.) We began by eating Chick-Fil-A – our […]
The Day He Received His Third Nipple.
Chris, upon changing Noah’s clothes for bed… “Um, how did Noah get a third nipple?” Well, you see, it’s a long story, babe. It all started with a successful mall trip. Too successful, really – I should have been suspicious of the trouble headed my way. I had managed to make it to two stores […]
Just Because You’re Paranoid…
…doesn’t mean they’re not really out to get you. Or at least that’s what my Dad used to tease me with during the days of my overly-suspicious youth. I received a text last night. A nasty one. It was from a number I’d never seen before, out of state, and all it said was, “Parent […]
The Police: Not Just for Bad Tickets.
As I was laying in bed pondering life a couple of weeks ago, I rolled over to Chris and shared a troubling thought. “I don’t think that Ali has the right idea about police. Did you see that wide-eyed look of fear in her eyes when those policemen walked into Chick-Fil-A tonight? I’ve done a […]
My Break From BlogHer.
I have been known to break my nose whilst blogging. I have also been known to visit the emergency room at wee hours due to sleepwalking injuries. I like sticking to a theme. Which is why, I suppose, I took this weekend as an opportunity to break my nose, while sleepwalking, while at a blogging […]
Because Confession is Good for the Soul…
My Mother felt so cleansed of guilt and shame after my post on Friday that she brought me more evidence of my childhood mistreatments that very night. (That and she’s been cleaning out her basement, but that’s beside the point.) As it turns out, The Atrocity wasn’t a one-time offense, nor perhaps even as bad […]
The Atrocity – A True Story.
She was young when she committed the crime, a crime that would scar me deeply and shape who I am today. She was so young that I’m sure she didn’t realize the full breadth and consequences of her actions – no one had taught her any better, after all. Guilt subconsciously crept in and flooded […]
Hacked: A Shame Too Great To Bear.
Every now and then, I’ll get an email from someone with nothing in it but a mighty suspicious link. With a mixture of disappointment, shame on their behalf, and an unhealthy level of Technological Elitist Disdain, I shake my head, hit delete, wonder what the poor soul clicked on to bring such a travesty down […]