Dear Parents that have yet to reach tooth-pulling age, I owe you an apology. And a grave warning. In December of 2012, after only three weeks of Ali having her first loose tooth, I penned the following paragraph: “Shocked at her sudden burst of bravery, I quickly grabbed the napkin, reached in, and popped it […]
The Recipe For Educational Calamity.
The Pumpkin Patch Field Trip of your Nightmares. Yield: 15 Exasperated Mothers and 58 Screaming Children. Prep Time: Longer than you can possibly conceive. Calories: Certainly enough will be burned to justify mass chocolate consumption for the following seven days. Directions: 1. Wake your children from their restful slumber in order to arrive on time. […]
How Not to be a Doctor.
Dear New Doctor, Hi! I’m Rachel. You should know that, but since you didn’t read my chart, I guess you don’t. But I’m getting ahead of myself. I’ve been seeing a wonderful doctor all summer, but he wasn’t in the correct specialty to continue treating me. So, he referred me to you – for your […]
A Peek Into Our Schoolhouse.
We have now completed four weeks of first grade. Which is like, nothing. But for whatever reason, it makes all the difference. That’s the strange thing about homeschooling – you really have no idea how the family dynamics will work each year until you actually start, then at least you know what you’re dealing with. […]
Regarding a Summer Love Affair with YouTube.
I’ve never been a YouTube sort of girl. Sure, I use it to suit my own purposes, uploading videos for blogs and then immediately logging off. But watch other videos? No. Search for stuff? Never. Until I had a son. A son obsessed with all things containing wheels. Noah needed to see tractors. His fire […]
How To Stay Dry in the Rain.
1. Steal your sister’s junk-hoarding bucket. 2. When she catches you, act like you did nothing wrong and didn’t even realize she was chasing you. 3. Steal your sister’s other junk-hoarding bucket. 4. Skip around in the rain, satisfied at your complete dryness. 5. But beware – rain is slippery. 6. Don’t fall. 7. If […]
Thoroughly Shirking my Duties.
The job of Mom is an infinite scroll of large and tiny responsibilities. Once I’ve fed them, hydrated them, schooled them, broken up fights, bathed them (semi-periodically), read to them, rocked them (not with real rocks, my Dad always reminds me), changed diapers, and allowed them to sit mindlessly in front of Dora the […]
You’ve Gotta Start Somewhere.
So yesterday, we began. Noah was slightly perturbed about being labeled as a troublemaker on the first day, But he couldn’t deny that there was just cause for that assumption. And no, I didn’t take a “first day of school” picture last year with which to compare these. And yes, that fact does indeed eat […]
I Saw a Bear.
Need I say more? Oh wait – yes, yes I do. Because I saw a bear – and her tiny, precious newborn bear. Less than thirty feet from our car. If it weren’t for the phrase “Mama Bear” being common vernacular, I would have totally scooped that baby up into my arms and cuddled with […]
An Explanation Of Uncomfortable Sorts.
Leaving off from yesterday’s story, Chris’ Mom arrived and took over for me so that I could go to my doctor’s appointment. At the end of my visit, they sent me down to the lab to get several vials of my precious blood stolen from my arms. Two lab techs met me at the door […]