I was walking along, minding my own business, enjoying the sweltering humidity that is a June-Day-Between-Thunderstorms, when I all of a sudden found myself in a deeply philosophical place.

There was a flutter of activity, and I looked about. Butterflies. Blue butterflies. Green Butterflies. Orange Butterflies. Busily flapping about and clearly engaged in an important task.

Then I noticed that two landed on the ground near each other. I needed to get my camera ready!

Then a third!!

Oh, this was a regular butterfly convention happening. Thank goodness I was present to record the moment for posterity.

I got down on my knees and held the camera to my eye, which is when I realized what exactly they were all so excited about.

180613 Red Mountain Park IMG_0122 s

They had all landed on a nice, fresh pile of dog poo and were busily sucking away at it.

This was more than I wanted to know about the dietary habits of butterflies. About the origins of their bold colors and their graceful flying abilities. About the tastiness of dog poo.

Yet, this moment seemed to offer so much wisdom. I found myself involuntarily creating new Southern Colloquialisms – an unavoidable past-time in Alabama, because we do love a memorable saying…

For when that annoying person is really getting on your last nerve…

“Three butterflies could land on that turd and he’d still stink.”

For when your kid has had an exceptionally whiny day…

“He’s three butterflies short of a turd party.”

When there’s that perfect Mom with the perfect hair and perfect nails and perfect outfit and perfect makeup and perfect kids and perfect house…

“She may look shiny and bright, but I guarantee you she’s sitting on a pile of dung somewhere in her life.”

When you’ve had a spectacularly pleasing day…

“I’m as happy as the first butterfly to a fresh dog log.”

For that person who always seems to make the worst choices…

“She could’ve had every flower in the forest but she chose to slurp on a turd.”

 For when you’re trying to look at the bright side of a bad situation…

“They say you can’t polish a turd, but you sure can land three pretty butterflies on it.”

To remind yourself that the fifteen dollars worth of Taco Bell you’re about to eat is totally normal….

“No matter how pretty and tiny you are, sometimes you just wanna eat like crap.”

When things are going too well…

“There’s dookie somewhere under all these butterflies.”

So go forth out into the world. Bolder and more confident. Having gained the wisdom of butterflies who make poor nutritional choices.

12 thoughts on “That Time That Butterflies Explained it All.

  1. That’s hilarious! I’ve seen butterflies on dog poop, too. It’s disgusting. I, however, did not take pictures. Only you are brave enough for that. :-)

  2. I am crying my makeup off over here. That last one got me. I shall, with your permission, start using that one. And will credit you when asked.

  3. Yup, butterflies are disgusting. But when all you eat is sugar water, you need to get your vitamins and minerals somewhere! For a more asthetically pleasing photo op – they do the same thing at mud puddles. The behavior is actually called “mud puddling”. A good muddy spot is an important addition to the pollinator garden!

  4. This cracked me up and kinda makes me look at butterflies a bit differently now; I’ll always wonder if they just came from a poo party !

  5. Man oh man, this is so hilarious! I have a thing for butterflies, including a great tattoo because of a certain God moment with butterflies. I even wrote a book 2 years ago called “Walking Butterfly”. So my eye obviously lands on posts about them and I read you all the time anyway so this, THIS is amazing, and funny and so very gross that I just have to share it!
    I love that it is totally opposite the expected frilly girly post about butterflies! Perfect!

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