If I understand the differences in regional dialects correctly, some of y’all don’t call this a hosepipe.
You call it a “garden hose” or just a “hose” or some other type of gibberish.
In Alabama, we call it summer entertainment.
That is, unless you’re not the one holding the hosepipe. Then it’s called a source of great anxiety.
Or, more likely, a sure thing.
But once you get past that initial moistening and it melts the southern summer heat off of your overclothed legs, you realize it’s not such a bad fate after all.
The hosepipe holder, however, must take occasional moments of solace to ponder the gravity of his position,
As well as study the Geometry of the task at hand.
Like a Royal Guard at Buckingham Palace, he must also perfect his posture and carriage of weaponry.
But don’t worry. He’ll remember you exist.
And he’ll take care of all of your cooling needs.
ALL of them.
Until you start to wish that you didn’t exist.
At which time you can simply move along, and let him get back to his training,
His marching of the perimeter,
And his technique testing.
Because it’s serious work.
But if the hosepipe is taken away, great heartache will commence.
Grieving will become necessary for all involved.
Well – almost all.
Because turnabout…is fair play.