On my now somewhat defunct tertiary blog (this being the primary blog, Alabama Bloggers being secondary, and B-Sides being tertiary,) the best thing I ever did was run a series of forty-seven posts called Yittle Fings. Spanning from July 2009 to August 2012, I recorded all of the most funny, ridiculous, random, and profound things that Ali said.
But, sad as it is to say, Ali has grown out of Yittle Fings.
Now at six years old, she certainly doesn’t pronounce the phrase “Little Things” in a toddler voice anymore. And also, her thoughts and meanderings are much more mature, less flamboyant, and some are more private than they used to be.
But that’s okay – because Noah is now the exact age that Ali was when I began Yittle Fings, and has quite suddenly started talking in full sentences and interacting conversations, so it’s time to start him his own collection. I’m not sure if I’ll record them here or try to revive B-Sides (it seems like a grandparent-only thing to want to read every silly thing a kid says – tell me if I’m wrong after reading this,) but I’ll definitely collect them somewhere.
To properly close the chapter on Ali’s Yittle Fings, I slurped them all into a fifty-six page glossy printed Blurb blog-to-book (I used to do this with my entire blog but kinda ran out of time and energy to keep up with myself.)
I presented the book to Ali and told her that it housed everything funny she ever said as a toddler. She was hooked.
We’ve been reading through it together, and she is both amused and reminiscent, as she actually remembers a lot of her thoughts.
We also bought copies for all of the grandparents, and I told Ali that she should autograph each copy, since technically, she is the author of the book.
And in the process of creating the book, I pulled out my favorite quotes and photos to share with you. I love how they get deeper, longer, and better as time goes on…
July 2009 – 2.5 Years Old.
Ali was bemoaning not wanting to share her snack with some friends that we were about to go see. I explained that she should share, and used her stuffed Minnie Mouse, whom she was carrying, as an example:
Me: “Are you going to share your snack with Minnie?”
Ali: “No. She doesn’t have a mouth.”
Me: “If she did have a mouth, would you share your snack?”
Ali: “But she doesn’t have a mouth.”
When we were coming back from a football game in Tuscaloosa, Ali in full cheerleader garb. She was bemoaning that she needed to tee-tee, and she whined, “I don’t want to tee-tee on my Alabama A!!!”
A few minutes later, she announced sadly, “Alabama caught my poop.”
January 2010 – 3 Years Old.
I was trying to get her coat on her, and explained, “It’s F-F-F-F-FREEEEEEZING outside!!!”
She answered, “It’s not f-f-f-f-freezing. It’s just a little cold.”
Chris was getting Ali in the car, and I heard the following conversation:
Ali: “I scratched you.”
Chris: “That’s okay, it was an accident.”
Ali: “No it wasn’t.”
I did something Ali didn’t like. Twice. And so she told me sternly, “You did it again. Don’t do it anothergain.”
Ali found a piece of ribbon, and she kept pulling it around mine or Chris’ wrists. We finally asked her what she was doing.
“I’m measuring you.”
“What are you measuring us for?”
“I’m measuring you to see if you’re a girl or a boy.”
We were reading a book, and there was a picture of an angel in it. Ali explained, “We don’t eat angels.”
Ali was playing with her Cinderella and a Prince when she had a startling realization.
“That’s not Cinderella’s Prince!! That’s somebody else’s Prince.”
Me: “Whose prince is it?”
Ali: “It’s Prince Phillip. It’s Sleeping Beauty’s Prince. She won’t be mad.”
Among the typical stalling methods of probing questions at bedtime, Ali asked, “Is Daddy going to wear HIS princess nightgown to bed??”
“I’m Tinkerbell. I have on a fairy dress. I’m a princess. I have bogeys in my nose.”
“I just talked to Cinderella. I saw her on Facebook.”
Ali: “There were ten disciples.”
Me: “No, there were twelve.”
Ali: “No, Jesus had twelve, but I have ten.”
Ali: “…And you have three and Gramamma has six.”
Me: “What are disciples?”
Ali: “They’re colors.”.
July 2010 – 3.5 Years Old.
Ali was protesting putting on her panties without my help… “But Mommy, I’m a pretty girl and you’re a regular girl, and only regular girls put on panties!!!!”
“Gramamma would look silly if she took her hair off. She would look all skankily.”
We’ve been having a lot of conversations about Noah, naturally [I was halfway through my pregnancy at this point.] I’ve been trying to get her to think about him and what he’ll be like. We had the following conversation:
Me: “Do you think that Noah will have light hair or dark hair?”
Ali: “Light hair.”
Me: “Do you think he’ll have straight hair like me, or curly hair like you?”
Ali: “Straight hair like you.”
Me: “Do you think he’ll have blue eyes like you, or hazel eyes like me?”
Ali: “Blue Eyes.”
Me: “Do you think he’ll like making biscuits with you and Pop?”
Ali: “No! He will like to stay home with YOU when I go make biscuits with Pop.”
[For the record, all of her predictions were right. Except for the last one.]
I looked in the backseat on the way home one day…
“Ali, WHY are you sucking on your toes???”
“Because I’m thirsty!!”
“Wow Daddy!! Your toot was so loud it hurt my ears!!!! Do you have a picture of it??”
Ali, jabbering in the backseat… “I really, really, REALLY like Daddy. Daddy and Poppa and Nana and Gramamma and Pop and Amanda are my favorites.”
Me: “What about me? Am I one of your favorites too?”
Ali: “No, you’re just regular.”
Me: “I’m not one of your favorites????”
Ali: “I think you’re one of Daddy’s favorites, though.”
Ali is often creative with her after-bedtime-callbacks. Only once has she ever done the typical-kid “I’m Thirsty!!”.
Chris goes in… “What, baby?”
“Daddy, my bum is too big!!!”
As Ali was sitting on the toilet, she informed me, “Usually poop is brown, and brown is just NOT my favorite color.”
Ali is very excited about pink and blue bows on mailboxes, and always points them out and informs us as to what type of baby those people just had. Then, after one of these sightings, she informed us thoughtfully,
“I remember when I was born and there was a pink bow on the mailbox.”
“Oh really? Do you remember being in my tummy, too?”
“Was it dark?”
“Was it comfy?”
“Was it gooey?”
“Eww, No!! Only PUMPKINS are gooey on the inside!!”
February 2011 – 4 Years Old.
“No, I don’t itch.”
“Well why do you keep scratching, then?”
“Because there are ladybugs inside the blood of my skin and when I feel them, I
have to scratch to get them out. And that’s how it works.”
“How many ladybugs?”
“There are four of them.”
“How did they get into your blood?”
“Well, there’s a little hole that opens up in my toe on THIS foot. They crawl into the blood of my skin through that hole.”
“But when you scratch them it gets them out?”
“No. I can’t get them out. They have to get out on their own.”
“But you said…”
“Only they can get out. They have to go back out the hole in the toe on THIS foot. Then after they get out, they close the hole up REALLY tight behind them so it doesn’t hurt me anymore.”
“When was Jesus a baby?”
“Two thousand years ago.”
“TWO THOUSAND?!!?!?!? Was that before my nap???”
“Mommy! I’ll help you give Noah a bath, because I like to see the circle thingy in the middle of his parts wiggle back and forth when I pour water on it.”
September 2011 – 4.5 Years Old.
Ali was in the backseat, and she started making a siren noise. Then she explained, “That tells you there is something that will get you. A tornado or a bear or a monster. Or a bad robot.”
We were out at my parent’s house, and Mom and Ali were picking flowers. All the while, Noah and I were getting swarmed by mosquitoes.
Gramamma: “Okay, Ali – let’s be all done now. Your Mom and Noah are getting eaten up by mosquitoes.”
Ali: “But we can pick some more because that would take FOREVER! Mommy and Noah are big and mosquito’s mouths are teeny tiny. They won’t be eaten all up for a LONG TIME!!”
“Sometimes when I’m in my bed and I call you and you don’t come, I think you might have been turned to gold.”
January 2012 – 5 Years Old.
“What if I ate that whole bag of fruit loops?”
(I held it up to her stomach) “Look – it’s bigger than your tummy!! You couldn’t eat it all!”
“If I did, would I die?”
“No, but you might throw up.”
“Well, at least it would be very colorful throw up.”
“What if when babies pooped, they pooped out stinky computers full of poop?”
“Hey Ali – what’s that all over your shirt?”
“Hmm. Maybe bird poop?”
“I had the baddest dream anyone could ever have. I dreamed a wolf was trying to eat me. Then I had the most exciting dream anyone could ever have!! I thought I was in this world and I was downstairs and I was flying all around the house.”
Then she got really quiet and leaned over and whispered, as she was bursting with excitement…
“And, now that I’ve done that in my dream, I’m pretty sure I know what I need to do to fly in this world.”
“Seriously?? How awesome!! What do you have to do?”
“Well, I’ve got to flap my arms really hard – like this. But before I try that, I have another idea too. If I start out running really fast, I might just take off.”
August 2012 – 5.5 Years Old.
“Sometimes, when I’m in the bathtub, I tell the waves to be calm like Jesus – just to see if I can do it too. AND – after a minute — they are!!”
And that’s it…three years, reduced to quotes and photos.
I’ll be sniveling over here in the corner if you need me.