This is some of my most ground-breaking research to date, and I’ve started to feel the shame creep up on me again, so I decided it was time for a re-share. Originally published October 20, 2011.
You asked for it, so I’m here to deliver.
I collected and analyzed the data that you so generously provided (via this post and on Facebook) regarding the frequency of the bathing of your children.
In particular, I collected, where given:
- Number of children per family,
- Number of baths per week,
- And, since so many of you had differing schedules for your different aged children, I collected the individual ages of children and corresponding baths per week, where provided.
- That none of you are in The Liar category – probably not a true assumption, but if you were going to go to the trouble to comment, I can only suppose that you were honest about your shame (or lack thereof).
- For those of you that did not provide your children’s ages but I know about how old your kids are, I estimated.
My sample size:
- 82 Families.
- 171 Children.
With those scientific parameters in place, I present to you my findings.
First, the simple percentage breakdown of families and their bathing choices.
During the data collection, I noticed a trend in the families that actually do bathe their children every night: many had no idea that families existed that did not do so. To those seven-bath-a-week families, this graph should be stunning.
You are accompanied by only 17% of the population.
But you have clean sheets, so take heart in that.
And for those of us who fall into one of The Ashamed categories, I plotted the above information into the categories and sub-categories previously established. This graph should be all that you need to know:
I was curious as to what other trends could be discovered in bathing practices. The first avenue I wanted to explore was whether the number of children in a given family had an affect on bathing practices.
I have a feeling that my fellow two-kid families are about ready to kick me out of the club.
(Apparently I was simply meant to have three kids.)
I also wanted to see how bathing practices changed across children’s ages. As there should be, there seems to be a correlation – the older the kid, the more baths they received.
Whether this correlation is due to ripening tween body odors or the fact that the child can bathe themselves and, therefore, is less hassle for the parents is unknown.
And finally, I wanted to see a visual of all of the responses. I couldn’t figure out how to get my histogram to look how I wanted it to in Excel, so I went old school.
Plus, I live for any excuse to use graph paper.
So here are all of your children, plotted by age and number of baths.
Again, notice the clearly more populous lower bathing region.
This data makes me feel so happy and validated on the inside that I feel like singing a heartfelt chorus from “You Are Not Alone” right now.
…and probably makes you seven-time-a-weekers ready to yank your kids out of school, make them wear gloves, and smack a Flu Mask on ‘em.
The conclusions of my report are as follows:
1. The Shame Should End. Immediately.
2. Those of you who actually do bathe in the upper numbers should feel freed. Celebrate your extraordinary cleanliness tonight by skipping baths! Perhaps even after making Mud Angels in the yard and eating cotton-candy-covered-caramel-apples?