If You Give a Blogger a Baby.

A guest soliloquy, by Noah.

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If you are born to a blogger, chances are, she’ll be a total techy geek.

If she is a total techy geek, then she’s likely to encourage her children to be total techy geeks as well.

If she encourages her children to be techy geeks, then your older sister will probably have multiple computing devices.

If your older sister has multiple computing devices, then you will want to play with them while it is her turn.

If you want to play with your sister’s computing device while it is her turn, you will probably be told no.

If you’re told no at exactly the right moment of toddler impetuousness, you might choose to hit your mother.

If you choose to hit your mother, you might have the unfortunate luck to decide to do so in front of your mother’s father, who also happens to be your favorite person in the whole world.

If you have the unfortunate luck to decide to hit your mother in front of your mother’s father, who also happens to be your favorite person in the whole world, he might correct you with the deep, quiet, intimidatingly controlled voice of a 500 pound Grizzly Bear.

If he corrects you with the deep, quiet, intimidatingly controlled voice of a 500 pound Grizzly Bear, your lip might grow to the size of Omaha.

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Don’t have a lip the size of Omaha.

Avoid being born to a blogger.