I decided to take the week off since the entire world is on vacation anyway.  I mean, when the 4th falls on a Wednesday, the lucky people are gone the first half of the week, the luckier people are gone the second half of the week, and the luckiest people are gone all week.  So what’s the point in posting?  Right?

(If you’re still here, I apologize deeply and profoundly for your apparent lack of luck.)

So instead, I’m sharing a few posts from my archives for the week. 

I chose this first post because it felt especially cozy since it has been over 100 degrees continuously for the past week.

Originally Published February 4, 2011.

I drove in my first snow storm yesterday.

Yes!! It was a snow storm!! As in, snow was blowing from the skies!! And some of it was even sticking to the ground!

And the more bizarre part was, it was TOTALLY unexpected. Which, I thought, was impossible in Alabama.

You see, when there’s even a one percent chance of snow in these parts, there’s usually massive news coverage, minute-to-minute updates on what the blessed accumulation might possibly be, school closings before the event is even a sure possibility, and, of course, ridiculously manic grocery store raids, JUST in case the apocalypse is upon us.

But for some reason, this event tip-toed right past all of our beloved Meteorologists.

I had one errand to run, and lunch planned with a friend – a simple day, for sure. As we left the house, there were a few raindrops, and then the SOUNDS of raindrops, but nothing was on my windshield.

It greatly confused this Southerner.

After puzzling over the invisible raindrops, I realized that it was QUITE cold outside (I’d left from the garage), and that the sound I was hearing was actually sleet.

…at which point I felt extraordinarily guilty about getting my six-week-old baby out in SLEET – especially since my errand was going to require a bit of outside walking.

(Feel free to award me “Parent of the Year” at any moment.)

We made it through our errand without anyone turning blue from our Antartica-Like-34-degree-weather, and then headed to lunch.

When we arrived at lunch, the sleet was picking up a bit, and my guilt intensified as I ran inside, trying to keep the certainly-dangerous sleet off my baby.

And then, as we ate, it began to snow!

SNOW?? It was 65 degrees two days ago!!

HUGE snowflakes!

And then, a blizzard!

I was hypnotized by the lovely snow falling aswe ate, and then all of a sudden I woke up to reality – I was about to be snowed in at a place that would most certainly make me gain 20 pounds in the two days – HUGE snow drifts were beginning to pile up all around the parking lot!!

(That’s what snow drifts look like, right?)

So we quickly decided that we should end our lunch and attempt to sled home before our cars disappeared under the snow – which obviously would be happening at any moment.

So we carefully ran out to our cars, me trying to keep the snow out of Noah’s car seat, all while not letting Ali get buried in a drift.

When we got to the car, Noah was seriously unhappy with my horrible parenting and for risking his life in a blizzard. And I couldn’t blame him – look at the thick blanket of snow on his car seat!!

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I strapped my children-that-now-looked-like-snowmen in the car, and headed up to my seat….to find…

My windshield! How was I ever going to dig out of this mess without a snow blower??

…imagine my surprise when my windshield wipers did the trick.

(They must have been industrial strength.)

We began our arduous trek home, which included a HILL.

And, for the first time ever, I had to drive on a hilly road covered in ice.

(“covered” might not be exactly the right word, but it definitely existed, at any rate…)

And you know what? It was slippery!

As I slid off the edges of the road repeatedly, I began having a middle-child moment and thinking about all of those ice-driving-training lessons that my Dad gave my older brother, but was too terrified of my female-teenage-driving skills to give me.

(In fact, he just “happened” to be in Mexico when I got my learner’s permit. My Mom still says that was the most stressful week of her life, and the most dangerous week of every mailbox in Birmingham’s life.)

(And anyway, as if driving on the mountain roads in Mexico could be less stressful than riding with your inexperienced 15 year old daughter…although according to Mom, her week was worse.)

And then I woke up from my daydream.

Noah was still angry and screaming his displeasure, Ali wasn’t too happy that Noah was filling the back seat with cacophony, and I was slipping all over the roads.

…then, as I was a block from home, the winter storm let up, the sun ALMOST came out, and the roads began to magically clear up.

And I realized that I had picked THE worst 15 minutes of the entire day to try to drive. Because my timing is impeccable like that.

There?  Don’t you feel cooler now?  You’re welcome!

11 thoughts on “Scoff, All Ye Northerners.

  1. Okay! My daughter and I got a good laugh out of your pictures of ” HUGE snowdrifts”in the parking lot, and your fears of being “snowed in.” ( She actually asked if you were ‘nuts’, Sorry!) I REALLY DO worry about you guys in Birmingham when you get icy weather— I don’t think that most Northerners realize how hilly your city is ; ( Nay, not hilly, MOUNTAINOUS ) and would be treacherous even for US to drive in .We have been having weather in the nineties most of the summer so far, along w/ no rain. Fireworks mostly are being cancelled dt dry conditions, except for the BIG show over l
    Lake Michigan. ( If you want to brave a crowd of > half a million…) Enjoy your week off!!!!

    1. Yup – it really is crazy trying to drive here. Even “northerners” DO have trouble! :) … but that post was mostly in fun, so no – I’m not crazy. :)

    1. Thanks! Did it work? Do you feel cooler? Just posting this post dropped the temperature by 25 degrees at my house. I’d call that a win.

  2. you have so much to learn. but i doubt that by living in alabama you will ;) . but i will probably never understand terrible humidity like you. so, to educate you, one of the best things about snow is when it melts and you can careen through the slush – think puddle jumping. my sister also used to the throw the cat off the deck into the snow drifts!

  3. I wouldn’t have said this post was that old but Noah looks so tiny! I remember laughing the first time I read it and I did the same this time. I can’t believe it is so warm there! I am trying to be thankful that it’s not hot here since I would be extra miserable, but I do wish it were at least in the 80’s! We pulled out the kiddie pool today and the girls swam all morning even though it was only 68. I dumped 16 (yes I counted) pots of boiling water in it just to keep them warm. I’m willing summer into place. :P

    1. I told Chris about your boiling water. He said something not-very-nice.

      For comparison’s sake, I think our water would naturally boil if left in the sun for over thirty minutes. And I’m positive we can bake cookies on our car dashboards.

  4. OH MY GOSH! that was the best story ever, I read it to my husband who took time out of his video game to look at the pictures! I laughed so hard! Totally following your blog!

  5. You would pee your pants if you saw what the snow was like on the coast of Lake Michigan (mid-way up in lower Michigan), where my husband grew up. It’s not uncommon to see snow piled in medians 2 stories high (before Christmas) and snow drifts nearly covering the barns on my mother in law’s land, just a few miles inland. When I met my husband, I moved up there to be with him. Within two years, I married him and promptly said I refuse to stay in the Great White North any longer (and we moved 6 months after our wedding)!

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