My Dad is an artist.

Vic Zannis Art 2

Well, he’s kinda everything.  He’s an artist, writer, antique car restorer, race car builder, car mechanic, race-around-the-world navigator, ex-cop, chicken coop designer, beekeeper, home builder, Le Mans Series Race Tech Inspector, woodworker, ADA Surveyor Consultant, and inventor.

(What he is not, for the record, is an Excel Pro.  At least I have something to offer him.)

(“Just hit Delete, Dad! DELETE!!”)

(“By right clicking.  Then choose the “delete” option.”)

And although he didn’t attempt to teach me all of his talents (I’m so not fond of chickens while they’re still alive and pecking), he did make some valiant efforts to teach me how to draw.

“You have to look at the world with different eyes – you have to see the lines and shapes with which things are comprised, and then draw those.”

I squinted as if I were looking at a Magic Eye poster.

I turned my head upside down to see if that helped.

But alas – I did not inherit his second set of eyes.

Yet, despite my complete artistic blindness, I have allowed myself to get sucked into the iPhone sensation, Draw Something.

Enter an avalanche of shame and embarrassment into my life.

And, since my heinous crimes against art have been laid bare for all to see on other blogs, I suppose I might as well own my shame here, as well.

If my Dad played Draw Something, even his most simple doodle would have merit enough to be placed in the Art of Draw Something Masterpiece Collection.

Mine, however, deserve an entirely different type of internet fascination.

For instance.  I learned from other Draw Somethingers that when you need to draw something white, it’s good to use a different colored background.


However, a red background might not quite catch the aura of joy that goes with a wedding celebration.

Especially when you leave the bride’s face all bloody.

Speaking of red, when drawing the world’s most tragic sinking, perhaps you shouldn’t draw the characters in that color?


Fortunately, every now and then I get assigned a word that’s not too difficult for me to translate into art, despite my Paleolithic abilities.


Then again, my opponents may not appreciate the unannounced queasy effect that my drawings can have on them.


I’ve also found that Spinach is extraordinarily hard to draw.  And when you try to draw a cartoon character to explain your drawing of said vegetable, it only gets worse.


And that’s the thing with Draw Something – once you’ve started a nightmarishly awful drawing, you might as well commit to it.

For instance, when I tried to draw Heidi Klum.  And her ex-husband, Seal.

I was nearly crying with shame, on so many levels, by the time I finished it.

Draw Something Heidi copy

The more I drew, the more I fought the urge to gouge my own eyes out with my drawing finger.



Deserving of punishment.

Right before I forced myself to give up due to my crimes against drawmanity, I realized that using Ali’s iPad was a much easier way to play, and I began to show slight improvements.  For instance, this homage to C.S. Lewis:


Okay, “slight” was the key word there.

But I did learn some tricks.

I learned how to draw compound words,


meat in tube form shoved on a stick,


obsolete video games,


and I discovered that my true forte – where I could really shine – was the violent and morbid.





So now that you’ve adjusted your expectations to my skill level, I feel that it is only fair to show you how normal people play this game.

My friend Cara, for instance.  She could have just drawn a stick figure with a dress on, but NO.  She drew this.


Her sole purpose, most likely, was to open my eyes to my own unworthiness to play with her.

Lianne did a convincing portrait of Trump, mastering his hair in a very special way,


and then there’s Jamie. Even though she ridiculed me (albeit an honestly earned shaming), I will be the bigger person and share some of the masterpieces that she so graciously bestowed upon me.





All of those drawings occurred before she fully realized how shockingly horrible I was, at which time she deemed me only worthy of stick figures thereafter.

But it’s okay, because I acknowledge my deserving of such treatment.

Just call me the Oozing Scabies of The Art World.




30 thoughts on “The Artistic Train Wreck.

  1. This was hilarious! I thought I was going to be reading a touching blog about your dad, but I loved how it turned into something so frivolous as a post about Draw Something.

    We’ll have to play each other. I’m about as *ahem* – “good”- as you are. We can see how long we can stay on Turn 1!

  2. Heh! I’ve never been good at drawing on a screen. Not that my paper drawings are likely to win prizes without a lot more practice but they are an order of magnitude better than the ones I do on a screen

  3. “You have to look at the world with different eyes – you have to see the lines and shapes with which things are comprised, and then draw those.”

    It all makes sense now! Then next step is to get my hand to figure out what the signals from my eyes mean…

    I recently started that game too and I will join you in the shame. I found those Draw Something Masterpieces a week or so ago and I’m still in shock. I keep thinking I should invite my sister (an artist) or my cousin (a professional artist that is doing highly detailed art for video games) to join me but my stick figures have just enough movement drawn in them to slap some sense in to me…

    1. I know. I really want to play with someone who would waste…I mean TAKE the time to draw one of those masterpieces for me. But knowing me, I’d get impatient for them to hurry up and finish it already!!

  4. You forgot to mention if the stylus has had any affect on your drawing abilities. I agree the iPad is much better (if AK will let me play on “her” iPad. Ha ha). Still not enough to make me a better artist.

    1. I’m not sure that the stylus really helps. It frustrates me half the time, not doing what I tell it to do.

      Then again, maybe I just don’t give good orders.

  5. Umm…random girl here again…

    Please…PLEASE…for the love all things non-vomit-inducing, do not draw anymore thongs that color.

    I thought for sure I was going to look up and see that you were drawing “menstrual cycle.” (I know. yuck. but it really is what came to mind).

    The rest of it was awesome, though. I don’t have an iphone and am clearly missing out on some priceless entertainment here, but I enjoyed the vicarious thrill! : )

  6. Did you guys know you can draw much better with a stylus? You can get three in a package from amazon for cheap!

    Awesome pics. You shouldn’t quit. :o)

    1. I ordered four in a pack from Amazon a couple of weeks ago, and they don’t seem to be making much of an improvement! I’m pretty sure I’m a lost cause.

  7. What a cute post! Thanks for a good laugh. I think your drawings are a lot better than mine would be. I’ve never played Draw Something, but I’d like to try it now.

    1. I go between swings of being horrified at myself and thinking that I may actually be learning some skills. The latter is clearly an illusion, though.

  8. O.M.G. Hilarious! I may have to look you up one of these days and challenge you to a game. :)

    My name on there is Shondra_W in case you’re ever in search of a new drawing buddy.

    LOVE this post!

  9. Now I really want to play!

    Also? Your thong? Should not have been red either. I totally thought “gut wound” or “menstruation” at first viewing.

  10. Yayyyy! It’s so good to see that my art minor is being put to good use. On a game. On my phone. With my finger. Drawing Donald Trump.

    Clearly, I have arrived.

    P.S. I’m Bamagirl61299 if anybody else can handle my mad skillz. ;)

  11. Yeah….the Spinach drawing…I had no idea what was going on! :) But the Wardrobe drawing was great!
    I think I need to play w/ jamie too….I’m totes jealous of her skills!

    However, we players who are ONLY using our lowly iPhones to draw, feel quite at a disadvantage when playing with iPad draw-ers.

    I think its time I got an iPad.

  12. Considering I can’t draw a straight line with a ruler, my drawing skills are right up there with yours. My 7 year old draws better than me even. I have avoided being sucked into Draw Something although most of my friends play. Only having an iPhone will make it worse I’m sure. I knew what your drawings were though!

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