I should always listen to my husband.

You know, the hair guy?  Yeah – the one who pleads with me to keep mine and Ali’s hair long at all costs.

I really thought I knew what was best, so I talked him AND Ali into it.

(Because you see, he’s brainwashed her as well, and she’s quite convinced that she wants hair down past her bum – even if it means she might tee-tee on it.  After all, Rapunzel’s hair doesn’t look like she tee-tees on it very often.)

Ali has always had enviably fabulous curls, but as of late, her hair had gotten scraggly, tangly, stringy, and in desperate need of a trim.


Chris can be reasoned with – he’s totally okay with trims.

But I wanted more – I wanted to get a few inches cut off so that her curls would curl up better.  I was convinced that they were simply weighed down, and just needed a bit of buoyancy.

After all – I had proof.

When shorter, her hair looked like this:

IMG_6294 Photo Mug

And just a year ago, slightly longer but shorter than it is now, it looked like this:



Furthermore, when we went to the beach this past weekend, it looked curlier, thanks to the humidity.


C’mon, babe.  Let me get her hair cut shorter.  Just to try it.  Hair grows fast!

I used to be paranoid every time I got her hair cut – What if this is it?  What if her baby curls go away?  But after five years and dozens of trims, I quit worrying.  They hadn’t left yet – surely they wouldn’t leave now.

So I got daring.

I told the hairdresser to cut a few inches off and put some layers in.  She agreed with me that this plan of action would revive Ali’s curls.

I left Ali in the hairdresser’s trusty scissorhands and went to hold Noah down while he got his hair cut.  When he was fully trimmed and I got back over to Ali to check on her progress, I gulped.

…and feared a little for my life.

It was a lot shorter than I imagined, and there were piles of curls on the floor.

I wanted to take a photo of all of the curls.  I wanted to sweep them all up and stash them in my purse.  And I really wanted to go get some super glue and reattach them.  But some combination of having my hands full of a wiggly baby and my self-consciousness about making a spectacle held me back.

The hairdresser finished cutting, put some curl product in, and gave it a few scrunches.

“Don’t worry – it’s pretty straight now because I’ve been combing it.  It will curl up much better after it’s next wash.”

I took Ali home, fed her lunch, and immediately washed her hair.

I then spent half an hour desperately finger curling and productizing her hair, hoping to prove my theories right.

But I did not.

Instead, I found myself face to face with a much older looking little girl.  With nice, healthy, thick, tangle-free, STRAIGHT hair.


It had a little bit of wave going on at the bottom, but nothing like her former ringlets.


I moped around all day.

I picked up my phone several times to text Chris and prepare him – but then put it back down.

I mentally kicked myself over and over for not leaving well enough alone…and for not saving some of those curls.

But, surprisingly enough, Ali was thrilled with her haircut.


…and she couldn’t wait to show it off to her Daddy – a moment I felt quite the opposite about.


But Chris handled it well.

He complimented her on her haircut, told her how beautiful she was, and didn’t break down in tears.

Later, I whispered.

“So do you hate me?”

“About what?”

“Her hair.”


“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry!! I really thought it would curl up!! And I didn’t know it’d be that short!!”


“What kind of MM HMM was that?? Was that an ‘I told you so’ MM HMM, or an ‘I hate you’ MM HMM, or an ‘I’m okay with you and your decisions’ MM HMM?”


And that was that.

But my angst only increased.

Because I had also noticed just this week that her eyes seem to be changing drastically, something that seems like it shouldn’t happen at the age of five.

Gone are the super blue, almost freakish in color eyes,




For they have been replaced with eyes that are greener than blue, and seem to be leaning towards the brown/green hazel tint of mine and Chris’ eyes.


Not that there’s anything wrong with straight hair OR hazel eyes – especially since I have both.

It’s just way too much change all at once.

Luckily for Ali, though, she’s handling it all with superhero powers of obliviousness.


…while I lay in the fetal position in the corner and repeatedly remind myself to LISTEN TO MY HUSBAND.

46 thoughts on “Time Passes By. And I am Mad at it.

  1. Awww she’s such a beauty, no matter the length. And if hers is anything like mine, trimmed hair is easier to brush through than a long scraggly mane. Don’t beat yourself up! It looks beautiful, and it’ll grow back before you can blink.

  2. Your little girl is beautiful! Such a sweet smile!

    My sister had long golden ringlets to her butt when she was four. Her hair had never been cut. Then she and the neighbor boy got into the gardener’s tools (we lived in Spain where once could afford a gardener at the time) and Stevie whacked off her ponytail – at the base – with the hedgeclippers.

    My mom cried. Then she went around the neighborhood, picking up those cut-off strands of hair.

    My sister is now 45. Her curls did come back! But she blows them out. Crazy girl.

  3. Her new haircut looks lovely, don’t fret about it! It looks much tidier and thicker. But yep, it’s a pity we can’t stay as gorgeous as we were at 4 or 5. I’ve got a friend with a daughter (about 3) who has the most amazing blonde curls… looking at her parents you just know it’ll turn out mid-brown and straightish. I was actually blondish as a baby – now I’m dark brown (with grey bits appearing here and there, sadly). I really wanted to be a redhead for most of my childhood, after reading “Anne of Green Gables”. I kinda still do!

    1. Yes, Ali’s was a lot lighter when she was little, too. And Noah – he doesn’t have a chance. Even with his light blond hair, I expect it to be brown by the time he’s 8.

  4. Jackson used to have curls like Ali’s…obviously not that long…but longer than Stephen deemed ‘appropriate’ for a big boy of 2 1/2…I came home one afternoon to all of my baby’s gorgeous curls chopped off when Stephen had taken him for a ‘trim’…I mourned for days. Luckily it still curls up when it gets a bit long & in need of a trim (which unfortunately as soon as I see those perfect curls popping out, he instantly wants it cut so he can ‘look like daddy’…I know I should be happy that he wants to identify with his daddy…he’s a wonderful man…but I REALLY like those curls!!!;). Ali still looks absolutely beautiful but I do understand the mourning;)

  5. The exact same thing happened to Beege when we took her for her first ever hair cut before school started this year (also 5 yrs.), specifically because her hair *was* long enough to dip in the toilet and *had* and it grossed me out. Gone are her beautiful curls… and she all of a sudden looks 8yrs old.

    Luckily, both Ali and Beege are gorgeous – curls or not.

    And I actually did keep some of her curls. Then the bag opened in my purse.

  6. First, Ali looks beautiful, and would still be a gorgeous little girl even bald. But now you have me a bit worried. Willow’s hair has grown straggly and fuzzy and I’m taking her to my stylist for a “real” trim next week to get some length cut off and some layers in SO IT WILL BETTER CURL. Gulp.

  7. Ali is such a beautiful girl — I think her haircut looks absolutely precious! After her haircut, she’s looking more and more like her Mama. :) That’s probably why she can’t stop smiling. Oh, and that’s probably why she grabbed her cape too. SuperMom and SuperMiniMom to the rescue!!!!!!

  8. First the haircut is beautiful and she is adorable. Second as someone with curly hair like Ali’s you were correct if it gets too long the curls get weighted down, but if you cut too much they do go away for a while. I used to hate my curls so I would keep my hair extra short. Now I love them so my hair is longer unfortunatley right now they are stringy and straggley so it is time to cut them. Anyway you had the best of intentions the hairdresser was just a little to scissor happy. I think in a couple weeks if her hair grows like mine, her curls will slowly start to reappear.

    The eyes also from experience my eyes are extra blue and actually change color depending on the light and my mood. It is also my tell, see when I lie my eyes changes colors so growing up I couldn’t lie to my parents because they knew. Ali’s eyes maybe changing a little because of her age but also may not be a permanent thing.
    We do hate to see them grow up though. I always get a little sad when I see how much my nephew has changed in the 3 years of his life. And my new nephew is only a month old and see changes.
    I think Chris will forgive you, but never fear I think the curls will come back if her hair is anything like mine.

  9. Ali will always be beautiful due to the genes she inherited. I will always have the picture of her in the snow with her long curls. You know, it was going to straighten sooner or later. I did not know eye color could change so late in life, like she is an old woman, but they are beautiful in her. I always liked the way Chris’ eyes look different depending on what he was wearing. Now with all that rambling I will close and you know me, I will cry for al little while knowing I still have the most beautiful great in the world. Also the sweetest with such a great personality.P.S. you did not do this, I noticed her hair seemed much straighter this last weekend. She is growing up.

  10. Awww Ali is beautiful. And this post was beautiful, too! I’m not a mommy yet so can only imagine how it must feel to see your daughter looking more grown up. I also would have thought her hair would curl up being shorter; for my wavy hair, if there’s too much weight, that’s what pulls the curls down…but I guess you never know. :)

  11. To be honest I think the weather has a lot to do with it. My little Gabe has super curly hair in the summer humidity, but during the winter it’s just frizzy and straight. She’s beautiful either way!

  12. Beautiful post and a beautiful girl! To make you feel better – I had curly hair when I was born. Then it disappeared…probably around 4 or 5. Then it CAME BACK at 12 (hello hormones!) and only goes away for a little while when I’m breastfeeding a baby. Those curls could come back!

  13. Oh Rachel, she is beautiful! (Not that she wasn’t beautiful before) I’m sure once the shock has worn off, you will LOVE how easy it will be to brush her hair now. It stinks when our kids try to look all grown-up on us, isn’t it?

  14. Okay, if Ali didn’t look so beautiful I might actually be in tears right now! (although that could be the pregnancy hormones, haha)

    I have been going through this exact same thing with K. I even asked my bible study group if they thought I should get her hair cut. It is getting so long and it takes me a good ten minutes to get it all brushed out…which means she has a ponytail almost all preschool days. So I’ve been thinking about getting it cut so it’s easier to manage, and in the hopes that it would spring up a little better, but I am SO afraid of this exact thing! I don’t want her to lose her ringlets! Watching them grow up is so bittersweet!

    Ali’s eyes are still gorgeous. My husband’s eyes change color with whatever he wears. I love that. Maybe hers will do the same?

  15. I’m afraid the same thing will happen to Hazel’s hair when she gets it cut shorter. I really need to cut one of her perfect ringlets so I can keep it forever. She cut her hair for the first time this last week. Thankfully it was just a small portion in the front and it blends in well with the rest of her hair. Ali’s hair is really cute though!

  16. Wait…did I miss that on Tuesday? Because I don’t remember it looking completely different than before…of course, I don’t pay too much attention to hair….well, unless its spiky with purple streaks in it…. =o

  17. Of course she is still just plain gorgeous, but I understand where you are coming from. By the time I finally got Eli’s hair cut the first time he’d been looking frightfully like a scarecrow for sometime. And even though he looked much better once it was trimmed, I mourned the loss of the baby-ness to his appearance that was cut away with the shag. And about eye color change… I’d been told that whatever color the eyes have at 12 months is the color they keep, but lately I’ve been noticing his blues turning more green. It shouldn’t be allowed, the change is a year too late… They are still beautiful, but I don’t want to lose all of these pieces of his babyhood.

  18. Oh, it’s so hard to watch them change (exciting, beautiful, but oh so sad). Sam was trying on his new summer outfits (shirts courtesy of a lovely Tea Collection gift certificate won at this very site), and I nearly sobbed. I don’t know when he grew up.

  19. Oh no, the curls!!!


    It’s a good thing my children haven’t ever shown any particularly large amount of curls… as I WOULD have been sniffling over a ziplock baggie of them for years after inadvertently cutting them off.

    Be strong. It’s only… hair……… *sniffle*

  20. If it makes you feel any better, I had the flowy whispy curls like Ali when I was little, then my mom got it cut when I was 5 and it was straight for years. Then about the time I hit puberty, it went super curly again. Her hair is beautiful either way, but there is still hope for the curls to return one day :).

  21. It’s amazing how much something so simple, like a haircut, can make a child look so much older. My son always looks a little older after a haircut, and his white blonde hair is now turning to a dark blonde. Ali sure is adorable though, curls or straight. ; )

  22. Her hair isn’t that short. You can still pull it back AND she looks adorable! The curls were cute but she still looks cute without them.

  23. I didn’t know it was possible, but she looks even more like you now that her hair is straighter! Such a precious child, no matter the hair length. And of course the most important thing is that SHE feels comfortable … I grew up with parents who were often critical of my appearance, and it shaped my self-image quite a bit (in a bad way). I know you support Ali know matter what, though! You guys are wonderful parents. :)

  24. i can totally understand. i just cut samuel’s baby hair and he looks like a big boy toddler all of the sudden :'(. sigh. she curls were gorgeous but she’s still so pretty. her eyes are really pretty too.

  25. Oh no! You’re worrying me! Della’s hair has lots of swirly-curls at the moment, but she’s only 15 months, so I have no clue how it will turn out. I would so love for her to keep them, though. : (

    Here’s hoping…

    Either way, Miss Ali looks gorgeous with her new, grown-up hair do, but I can sympathize with the disgruntled feeling of time having the nerve to pass so quickly!

  26. I can totally empathize with you about your daughter’s hair and eyes. When my middle child was 4, I decided to get her a “good trim” because her hair was so wild and tangly due to the curls. That was the last day her hair was curly. It wasn’t long after that that her deep blue eyes turned from blue to a more greenish-hazel (like my husband’s). She is now 6 and I still miss her wild crazy hair because now it is as straight as mine….just like a board. Anyway, great post, I enjoy following you!

    -Audri @Rediscovering Our Family (www.rediscoveringourfamily.blogspot.com)

  27. She is such a gorgeous child! But I totally understand what you mean about the changes. Just wait until her teeth start falling out (or not falling out when they should). Anna has one crazy front tooth that has gone buck wild over the past few months – it won’t come out, even though the other ones are coming in. It makes her look like a different kid – still beautiful, of course – but strangely OLD and not at all like a baby. I’m mad at time too!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *