Chris surprised me for my birthday – I mean, completely surprised me.  I thought I had already received all of my birthday goodness, especially including a particularly awesome trip.

And then he gave me a brand new shiny happy iPhone 4s.

I was so confused by his extravagant gift that I didn’t even open it at first – I wasn’t sure if I should keep it.

I mean sure, Noah had drooled into my old iPhone so often that it barely wanted to work (a condition which also may have been attributable to a few not-so-soft drops on tile and hardwood flooring).

(Drops of the phone, not Noah.  His drool is a natural phenomenon.)

It turned out really well for Chris, because I was shocked and amazed at my unexpected present, thereby awarding him major brownie points, and do you know how much it cost him?


He paid $199 for my 4s, and we sold my old 4 through Ebay Instant Sale the next day for $190.

And I still let him keep all of those brownie points.

So.  After playing with my new toy for a couple of weeks, by far my favorite feature (aside from it actually WORKING) is, of course, Siri.

For those of you who have not yet been introduced, Siri is like a sarcastic version of the computer from The Enterprise, except in the palm of my hand.  She can do brilliant things, like tell me the current weather in Walla Walla, find me the nearest gas station, inform me of the calories in spaghetti, and search for real miniature giraffes on the internet.

I can simply talk into the phone to ask a question, and she answers it verbally, as well as putting the answer up on the screen.

Oh – and she’ll call me whatever I tell her to.  “Your Highness” and “Queen Rachel” are my current favorites.

(You can see why I value our friendship so highly.)

Here are some of my favorite conversations with her so far…helpful stuff, I’m telling you.


I have no idea how I managed to previously function without her.

Speaking of functions, she’s also helpful in that area.


But she can be a bit grouchy at times.


…and she doesn’t seem to mind my flip-flopping emotions towards her.


Getting her to talk about herself, though, is a challenge.





Her general avoidance of answering personal questions is especially bothersome to Ali (who is also obsessed with Siri), because Ali is particularly curious as to how old Siri is.  But no matter how many times we ask her, she refuses to tell us.


However, she is great for a serious conversation now and again.



And she gets a bit motherish at time, with a nice bowl of virtual hot soup and a dose of good advice.


However, her mothering does have it’s limits.


But what she’s best at is providing extremely helpful information in a moment of need.



And she doesn’t mind playing along on some worn out jokes, a trait sorely needed by non-sentient beings everywhere.





And, even after wearing her down with all of my mindless chatter, she still helps me remember to mind my manners – for the kid’s sake, after all.


She is, hands-down, the best nine dollar servant that my husband has ever gifted me with.

Now if I can only keep her from getting drooled upon by those whom I serve…

24 thoughts on “Siri and Me, Sitting in a Tree.

    1. You’ll love it and you’ll hate it when you get it. It is life-changing in both good AND bad ways!! For one, you completely forget how to ever just sit still. Everytime you find yourself sitting, you’ll pull out the phone. Or at least I do … (sigh)

  1. My husband’s 4s is on the way. He still has a 3G so he is very excited. I’m jealous! I have a 4, but I want Siri too. My line isn’t up for upgrade until June, though. So sad.

    I think this falls under that hash tag #firstworldpains

  2. I have been considering upgrading to the new iPhone. I think you have just convinced me. The one difference between ours will be $190 though! What can I sell on e-bay??

  3. My brother-in-law was telling me about Siri and I didn’t believe him until he showed “her” to me. He now refers to her as “her”, as if she is real. With those kind of responses, she pretty much is. I am now scared to get an iPhone. :)

  4. Just bought my iphone a month before the new one came out so no Siri for me -pooh! But in more exciting news, the insurance on my phone covers water damage now. Drool is water,right?

    1. Yes, it is. However, I don’t think they’ll be offering you an upgraded version when you turn in your water damaged phone. Too bad, though…

  5. Those are so hysterical!! We have the 4g but are coveting the 4gs for the Siri! I had to forward your post to my hubby so he could see all “her” hilarious replies! Love it! I think we’re eligible to upgrade in February??? That’s how we upgraded to the 4g… sold our 3gs on ebay and made a killing. Capitalism at work? :)

    1. Yes, I think if we had straight-out sold my iPhone on eBay, we would have made money. However, since it was inconsistent with it’s working, I didn’t want the hassle of having to explain it’s quirks, deal with a possibly unhappy customer, etc. But now you are making me wonder if I should have!!

  6. These are hilarious! I “met” Siri when I was in Texas. My cousin’s girlfriend had just gotten the 4s and we all sat around asking her questions. She is pretty hilarious. I especially like the color question. Listening to her really does make you feel like there is somebody out there answering your questions. I think T will soon be upgrading. I’m not sure if I want them hanging out all day! Haha :)

  7. I had to email this one to my sister-in-law who has been proclaiming that she is in love with Siri as well. She much enjoyed, appreciated and agreed with your take on he new obsession.

  8. Have you SEEN 2001: A Space Odyssey?? If she ever calls you Dave, throw that phone in the toilet and run, RUN!!!

    Sidenote: this post made me laugh out loud 2x.

    1. I have not, but I think there are some jokes programmed into Siri regarding that movie. You could probably ask her some related questions and she’d give you some awesome answers.

  9. This is HILARIOUS!! I already want to re-read it. I kept laughing so much that Ella demanded to see what was so funny. Okay, now I really want an iPhone. I need a Siri in my life.

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