Do you love hiking, but just feel so un-sexy when you wear tennis shoes?
Or do you have a hangover-from-the-early-90’s-love for Teva Sandals that is so strong that you wish you could wear your 20-year-old-with-the-frayed-edges-favorite-sandals to weddings?
Or have you just always just had a keen desire to wear thick, wool, hiking socks with stiletto heels?
If one or all of these are true for you, then you’re going to be thrilled: for a mere $330, all of your dreams and wishes can come true, thanks to a fabulous new product, released just in time for you to beg for them for Christmas!
Yes, you can now make your feet smile with Teva Stiletto Hiking Sandals.
For THREE HUNDRED AND THIRTY DOLLARS.
(Did I already mention that?)
Meant to be worn with, yes, awesomely stylish thick wool socks pulled up and then scrunched in a way that makes me misty-eyed-sentimental for my Timberland Boots of the 8th grade, these shoes will definitely take you places on the hiking trails.
But no matter where you end up on your adventures in these awesomely bad stilettos, rest assured that they will take you there in the most sexy manner possible.
Because really, there’s nothing that impresses a man more than seeing a girl attempting to hobble in stiletto heels on ground not made for stiletto heels.
(After all, I have spent many seasons of football amusing myself by watching college students do just that – and that’s WITHOUT the hiking trails to complicate matters.)
But these shoes aren’t just for hiking – they’re for looking your best while gardening…
(I fully expect to see these in the gardens of the stars of TLC’s upcoming new hit, Bama Belles, aka The Real Housewives of Dothan, Alabama.)
And these shoes are ideal for heavy home renovations.
…especially looking awesomely stylish when paired with a dirty towel atop your head.
Oh – and so that none of you sue me for misleading advertising, I can’t forget to mention the disclaimer that comes with these shoes:
“*Not recommended for actual hiking, gardening, mountain climbing, or Phish concerts.”
So there you have it. I hope that I have made your Christmas list complete, and on Christmas morning, you will be well on your way to the most skanky sexy hiking trip EVER.
Thanks so much to ABDMama for sending me the link to these shoes!