Phantom Baby.

This is one of those posts that’s going to either make you think that I’m a bit crazy, or you’re going to say “YES!!! I’ve experienced that! I’m glad I’m not the only crazy one!”

(So, I guess either way, you’re going to think I’m crazy.)

Oh well.

Chris and I encountered a strange phenomenon when Ali was a baby.  And, although the event itself was odd, we found it even more bizarre that all of our friends had experienced the exact same thing.

Phantom Baby.

You know that piercing, wailing, unignorable newborn scream….and how it seeps into your very pores and your soul is sucked dry within five minutes of it starting?

There’s something about the human brain that can’t completely flush that sound… and can make you believe you’re hearing it, loud and clear, when it’s not present.

We had many experiences with Phantom Baby.  We would be sitting on the couch, enjoying some time away from our precious sleeping newborn, and then all of a sudden, one of us would hear it: the screaming.

We would freeze with horror and fear.

THEN, the Phantom Baby phenomenon would become contagious and spread to the other one.

We would both sit there, listening to Phantom Baby, trying to decide whether it was Real Baby or Phantom Baby.

(Not to be confused with the other bizarre experience I often experienced with Fake Baby.  Although I think that Phantom Baby and Fake Baby might possibly be evil twins, created by my obviously-damaged brain.)

Finally, one of us would begrudgingly go check on our precious infant…and she would be sound asleep.

Phantom Baby.

So, we’re mentally preparing ourselves to deal with Phantom Baby Number Two, as newborn screams will assuredly be filling our houses and sucking our souls dry very soon.

And, oddly enough, I think my sub conscience is very nearly ready … because I experienced a brand new phenomenon a couple nights ago.

Phantom Kid.

I was sitting on the couch, being a total sloth enjoying some nice, relaxing quiet time, and I heard…

“I need to go teeeee-teeeee!!!!!”

It was way too late for Ali to still be awake.

But then it was again…


So I managed to hoist my gargantuan self off the couch and head upstairs…

Only to find a completely soundly sleeping kid.

Apparently, Phantom Baby grew up into Phantom Kid.

Soon we’re going to have more Fake and Phantom occupants in our house than real ones…and I’m a little spooked.