BlogHer BulletPoints.

BlogHer has an effect on 95.6% of it’s attendees that it turns their mind into complete mush by the time the weekend is over.

I was not one of the lucky 4.4%.

And so, while I allow my mind time to de-mush and re-solidify and my feet time to re-grow (what, you didn’t know I blogged with my feet?), all I can seem to produce are Bullet Points. I might have some more philosophical thoughts later in the week, but today, what you see is what you get.

• Mrs Potato Head got verrrrry handsy with my British Friends Jay and Sian. It made us question if there was really a Mrs under that potato. So we questioned (s)him. (S)him looked guilty as charged and hung his spud in shame.
• Thank goodness, Dora was not handsy. No one wants Dora doing THAT sort of exploring.
• Wai-wai-wai-waitta minute, Dora!! Whattarya doing to Boots?!?!?!
• Oddly enough, the Rabid Rabbit was the most well-behaved furry BlogHer guest. Rabies, I suppose, doesn’t always result in mischief.
• Last year’s celebrities: Tim Gunn and Paula Deen. This year’s celebrity: The Sun from Jimmy Dean.
• I missed Tim Gunn.
• But I did get to meet another fashion celebrity offsite. David Lauren, Ralph Lauren’s son, looks eerily like Jerry Seinfeld. Except much more well-dressed…and more good-looking. But Jerry can’t be blamed for that – Ralph can.
• The Ralph Lauren Madison Avenue Headquarters are much cooler in real life than on Friends.
• Day One: I’m an idiot. I’m pregnant and didn’t pack myself any snacks. Now I’ll have to find a store and stock up.
• Day Two: I’m an idiot. I stocked up on snacks, completely forgetting that I’d get enough food in all the swag to feed the entire Duggar family for a week.
• (And I’m sure that they’d find some way to make tater tot casserole out of the bags of Sweet Potato Chips and Craisins that are filling up my room.)
• New York will make you wish you were the type of Mom that would spend $100+ on a sweater for your kid and glad that you AREN’T that type of Mom all at once.
• Coloring is therapeutic whether you’re at home or at BlogHer. It’s especially therapeutic when you know you’re making a postcard to send home to a tiny someone that you might miss a little more than a tiny bit.
• iPhone FaceTime (which is just as tear-inducing in real life as on the commercials) is the greatest invention for the away-from-home parent since the aforementioned postcard.
• Because really, it’s easier to play “Hey Mommy! Can you do THIS?!?” on FaceTime than on a postcard.
• Even if you say you’d never attempt the Subway alone, the Subway is an evil temptress. She will lure you in, but once you’re underground, if you perchance take the wrong train (feeling the lurching in the wrong direction is a sick feeling), all of the wonderful iPhone apps in the world can’t help you right your wrongs – because there’s no signal underground.
• Nor are there maps underground.
• Nor is there a “you look like you need help, idiot tourist” kiosk.
• So it’s best to escape while you still can, torture your feet even more, and walk back from whatever mysterious place you ended up.
• If you get to walk more (thank you Mister Subway), you get to appreciate the fact that the city is a beautiful place,
  

• but at the same time, it makes Birmingham look like even more of a beautiful place.
• (No, I wasn’t really righting my wrongs from the Subway until after dark.)
• I can’t wait to see this hand again:
• BlogHer turns your mind into Mush. Have I already mentioned that?