So I’ve been quite busy processing the whole I’m-about-to-be-a-Mom-of-a-child-of-the-Bizarre-Male-Species thing this week.
It’s not that I was opposed to the idea, it’s just that, after 3.5 years of parenting a girl, I somehow had it in my head that we were a sort of “girl-child” family…but no longer.
But, I’ve thought of some benefits of our upcoming new experience, so I compiled them…
Top 10 Great Things About Having a Boy.
10. I might actually get to use that jumbo-sized box of band-aids in my bathroom cabinet that is taking up way too much room, seeing as Ali’s one occurrence of “Blooding her knees” (that she still talks about on a regular basis with great remorse) didn’t really put a dent in them. I could totally use that space for more makeup, after all.
9. I now don’t feel nearly as disturbed at the alarming rate of my body hair growth and regrowth. I can totally blame it on Newbie and his raging boy hormones that are quite unfortunately seeping into my follicles. Also, my odd craving for buffalo sauce makes a lot more sense now….which means that Chris will be QUITE proud of Newbie’s taste buds.
8. Ali won’t have the “I MUST love Alabama Football or my Father will feel like a failure to his precious team” pressure looming over her head. Newbie can pretty well handle that, I bet.
7. I don’t have to feel guilty about the fact that I REALLY wanted a new baby bedding set…whether it was a girl or a boy.
(They’re kinda like maternity clothes – you REALLY get tired of looking at them after a year or two.)
6. Ali will quit being so horribly traumatized when she accidentally catches a glimpse of “boy parts”.
5. I’ll get to buy those nifty Pee-Pee TeePees. I’ve always wanted to need such an awesomely practical tool.
And the Wiener Dog ones even scarier…
…but I bet Chris could totally write a whole guest post on ideas for Pee-Pee TeePee designs.
4. Ali’s Thomas Trains will get properly loved and beaten up, as her slightly short-lived and very coddling love affair with Thomas didn’t really give them the love that they deserved.
3. Ali will not ever have to get mad at Newbie for stealing her clothes and jewelry. I really hope.
2. We can totally treat our two kids differently and completely unfairly, because we will have the excuse of “Well, he’s a boy…it’s different for him” or “Well she’s a girl, it’s different for her.”
(Of course, that COMPLETELY cramped my style as a teenager when my brother got to stay out 3 hours later than me (even when I was riding with him and he would have to take me home THEN go back out), but I totally plan on taking advantage of it.)
And the number one great thing about having a boy…
1. When we’re out in public, it will FINALLY be Chris’ turn to do ALL public-restroom-during-potty-training duty.
And that reason alone makes it OH SO TOTALLY worthwhile to have a boy.