Dear Mom: You will be completely puzzled by this post. Forgive me in advance.
Love, Rachel.
I’ve found myself rather Tweetless for the past week, and I’ve yet to be able to fully diagnose the cause. It’s creating some Twangst in my soul about being so boring that I have nothing Tweetable going on, or worse yet, can’t figure out how to write creative tweets about the Tweetable things that ARE in my life.
Obviously, for a Blogger, this is a terribly bad sign.
What if my UnderTweetitis turns into UnderBlogitis like a UTI turns into a bladder infection which turns into a Kidney infection?!?!
What if I am left a Social-Media-Paralytic, with nothing ever to say to anyone in the written form?!?
What if it spreads to real life and I become mute and socially awkward?!?!
(Oh yeah – I’m already socially awkward. At least I don’t have to worry about that one.)
In the midst of my embroilment in Twangst, I came up with a few indicators of a Twidiction.
Ten Indicators Of a Possible Twitter Addiction:
10. When you walk up to someone and want to spark a conversation, you start out with “at Bob: …”
9. You cannot properly start your day until you’ve gotten on Twitter and said “Good Morning, Peeps!”, and you can’t fall asleep until you’ve told all your peeps Good Night.
8. Your number of tweets is higher than your followers multiplied by your following.
7. When someone tells you a good joke, you laugh, then immediately say, “Retweet Bob”, and proceed to tell the whole joke over again, word for word, as they stare at you with The Look that says “should you be on medication?”.
6. When someone asks what your favorite TV show is, you answer “It’s hashtag Glee.”
5. You refer to people by their Twitter Handles rather than their names.
4. You’ve quit communicating with your Grandmother because she doesn’t Tweet.
3. You overhear someone talking about a news story for the third time in one day, and you say, “Wow, that’s really trending today.”
2. You talk about your peeps so much that your mother thinks you have an Easter Candy Addiction.
1. When you have nothing to tweet about, you find yourself in a state of Twangst, and feel the need to write a Twittercentric blog about Twidiction.
Which, now that I think about it, gives me an idea for a few Tweets! I’ll just start tweeting “Signs of Twitter addiction” with the hashtag of #Twidiction.
Aaaaaaahhh….I feel the Twangst leaving my soul.
I'm worried about you. Seriously concerned. I'll add this to the things that I'm praying about on your behalf.
Oh dear. I think I'm glad I'm not a Tweeter!
uhhh…I only understood about half of that–which is surprisingly more than I understood in your blog about brackets. :]
This was hilarious! And I've done numbers 5 & 3 before – yikes! (but @revkevmo is just so catchy.)
And,I too, have been in distress about not having anything exciting to tweet about.
LOL I actually just deleted my Twitter account for many of the reasons above. :)
Your right, I think you are communicating in a foreign language. Mom
Bladder infection analogies are disturbing.
I'm really cracking up here, but I just can't get into Twitter. Maybe I'm missing something…?
@ObjectivityRach I needed a smile today so thanks! #waystocheerup
I agree with your mother…foreign language. :) I thought Twitter was kind of like mass-texting. Am I wrong?
Ha! good post Rach!
I totally have Twiddiction…
and I totally noticed you had been strangely silent on Twitter…glad you are ok!
Another sign you are addicted: when talking to non-Tweeting husband, you use @, RT, and hashtag and he takes your iPhone away….
Hope your twitter block is lifted soon!
I don't Tweet but I do Facebook and I just gave it up this week. Decided it was TOO MUCH!! You are too funny!