I love rabbits. I always have. I had several as pets growing up, and thought that they were just wonderfully delightful creatures.

We also have wild rabbits in our neighborhood. We can especially see them when driving home at midnight from Small Group – Ali and I always watch for them. They’re just beautiful, innocent, delightful creatures.

Except for one.

The Rabbit From Hell.

(He might have been related to Satan the Squirrel. Why do all of the evil animals find me?)

I didn’t even remember his real name, despite the fact that he lived with us for years, until I found a picture of him where my Mom had labeled it: Frolic.

Frolic was pretty much the antithesis of his existence. So we’ll just refer to him as I remember him: RFH.

It all started on Christmas day sometime in the very early 90’s. My little brother was very young (maybe 5 years old or so), and one of my Dad’s sisters and husband had quite the evil sense of humor. They apparently had been given or had somehow obtained this particular Rabbit From The Underworld, and decided to re-gift it to my little brother.

Because my parents couldn’t say no to a 5 year old that had just been given a pet, I suppose.

(I’m assuming that due to some earlier practical joke incident, my parents completely deserved this nasty treatment, but I’ve never been told the background.)

(Although now that I think about it, I DO remember a port-o-potty shaking and knocking over incident executed by my Dad to this Uncle. Could be related?)

Anyway, he wasn’t a fluffy, lop-eared, pretty rabbit – he was one of those Evil-looking, red-eyed Albino Rabbits:


That’s him, smooshing my favorite baby bunny ever, Jasmine. We were introducing the two because we hoped to create more baby bunnies in a few months. However, soon after, we realized that Jasmine was not actually a girl, so that plan probably wouldn’t work out too well.

Lucky Jasmine. I think he might have willed himself to be a boy after meeting RFH.

Back to the story. It soon became apparent that RFH did NOT appreciate human company, and since my little brother was way too young to learn how to avoid his nastiness, I became the caretaker.

(Probably because I was the Middle Child.)

We set him up a cage in the back of the yard, as far away from human contact as possible – the way he liked it.

I fed him daily. It was a risky job – get the food in and the hand out as quickly as possible to avoid getting bitten or sprayed with rabbit pee (why do all animals feel that their pee is a weapon against me?!). Every now and then he would get the best of me, but I was able to get away quickly enough to minimize the damage.

But, one day, the inevitable happened. RFH won. He was quick enough to snap at my left index finger, very near the knuckle, and bit through.

It wasn’t down the middle or anything – it was on the side, but nonetheless, his teeth went through my finger, and I was stuck – I couldn’t pull away.

And, in that moment, RFH decided to pretend that he was a snapping turtle, and didn’t let go.

I’m pretty sure that I was his captive for around 30 seconds, but when you’re being eaten by an Albino Rabbit one digit at a time, it feels more like centuries of agony.

My Dad heard the screaming and ran outside. RFH finally let go, as he saw his fate flash before his eyes.

I quickly retreated into the house, trying to control the bleeding and keep my finger from letting go of my hand.

I saw through the window as my Dad “gently” put RFH into a cardboard box and drove off with him. I never discovered his exact fate, but I do hope that someone who enjoys rabbit stew was able to make a good home for him.

My index finger was never the same. For years, I had a huge knot of scar tissue, and although it has shrunk quite a bit, I still have the toughened scar on my index finger to prove the carnage that RFH brought to our home.

But, RFH didn’t make me hate all rabbits. As I said, I still love them. As long as they’re not fat, angry looking albino rabbits with exceptionally strong jaws.

17 thoughts on “Killer Rabbits: Not Just in Monty Python.

  1. Ok..I totally loved this post. Wow, a nasty bunny, hard to believe but those eyes were indeed devilish. I sure hope you weren't hurt too bad.
    Ummm..gee..my hubby's family would have loved to have him for rabbit stew…me..i'll pass..no matter how nasty the bunny..
    thanks so much for stopping by my blog

  2. I have a nice flap shaped scar on the pad of my left thumb thanks to a bunny thinking I was a carrot. Luckily I was only 3 or something and don't remember it happening.
    You should have eaten that bunny yourself:)

  3. wow…didn't realize that rabbits had such strong teeth – their mouths are so little so how is that possible? One of the huge mysteries of life I guess. :-)

  4. Oh wow! I didn't know rabbits could be so mean! Now you need to share a cute bunny pic and a nice bunny story to help erase that one from our memory lol

  5. ha. I have a brother (rather a peculiar fellow with an ever stranger wife) and they raise rabbits for food. After Easter people are always giving them their grown bunnies. Is that twisted or what????????? Then again maybe your rabbit deserved to go live with my brother. (for however long that would have been) Someone would have taken a bite out of him.

  6. Oh Rachel, you do have the funniest way to tell a story. It is surprising that you do not run away screaming every time you encounter a bunny. As a child I distinctly remember having an evil pet as well, a Siamese white cat that peed all over the bed pillows when left alone in the house.

  7. That rabbit sounds and looks like Bunnicula, the vampire rabbit. It's a children's book, a rather frightening one. You're lucky that you made it out alive.

  8. And you still love bunnies? Aaaaaccckkk…I'm not sure I love bunnies anymore after reading this.
    David won't let Jack anywhere near goats because of a goat biting incident that occurred on a farm somewhere. David ended up losing his shoe and there's a little debate about whether there was an actual bit but just the same my big strong husband? Not a friend to the goats…

  9. Uh-oh, Matt is actaully researching rabbits right now. He really wants some.

    I think bunnies are cute, but not the albino ones. They are creepy.

  10. Evil, evil bunny! Poor middle child Rachel's finger!! I had a bunny, Fluffy, as a child. I lent her to my cousin to make extra bunnies with his bunny. Unfortunately my cousin was a dork and left both bunnies outside in a hutch when the temp dropped to freezing. No extra bunnies. No fluffy. Sigh.

  11. That is one scary looking rabbit, his red eyes make him look possessed! His looks alone would make me afraid to even go near him!
    My aunt and uncle gave us a rabbit has a Christmas present one year, but she was a very cute and sweet rabbit, and I loved her very much. Unfortunately some one left the basement door open, and she fell down some steps, broke her leg and had to be "sent" to the vet's office. :(

  12. Not all albino rabbits are dangerous I have one and she is a big baby her name is sugar cuz she’s a sweetie

  13. Sadly you are part of the stigma against albino rabbits putting stories like this out there even if you are joking. Not all albinos are mean and they are the most overlooked and abused like the balck cats. And the fact that you had hin locked away in a cage is probably part of the reason why he bit you. Bunnies are social creatures and they deserve way better Sadly, I am sure your Dad abandoed him and he slowly starved to death which is so creul. RIP Frolic I would have loved you!…

  14. Yiikes, no wonder you got bit the poor thing was locked up. I feel bad for the rabbit though. Honestly disagree with the whole albino rabbit looking evil thing, but maybe that’s personally because I think they’re as adorable and beautiful as any other rabbit. There are no such thing as ‘evil’ animals karen.

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