It’s been a full six weeks since I broke my nose, so I am supposedly fully recovered.

(I was supposed to get my nose re-x-rayed to make sure that it healed correctly, but seeing as how, due to quite the number of family ailments, we’ve paid more co-pays in the past six weeks than my husband has bought songs from iTunes (and that’s saying something), I haven’t been back yet.)

So anyway, let’s assume that I’m all better. And with that, here are the list of 18 things I learned from having a broken nose.

  1. Your nose will itch more often when it is broken. You will forget that it is broken and scratch it. It will pop somewhat akin to the sound of tearing a drumstick off of a raw chicken.
  2. Which may create an aversion to working with raw chicken.
  3. I never knew how much my cat rubbed heavily against my nose until it was broken. Which may explain some of my allergies.
  4. Bertie the Bus, although a good friend to Thomas the Train, is not a good friend to a broken nose when driven down the bridge of it. It is best to remember that you have a broken nose before allowing yourself to be used as a race course.
  5. Except for the above incident, Ali thankfully has her Daddy’s memory and thoughtfulness. My nose has been kissed and prayed for nearly continuously for the past six weeks.
  6. Her concern for me has led her to have a paranoid fascination about body parts breaking. My toddler now tries to break her leg regularly by stomping the ground or kicking the table. I guess I made it look like a thrilling experience.
  7. A nasal sleeping cast would be very helpful. Especially for those of us who sleep on their stomachs.
  8. My right eyebrow is directly connected to my nasal passages. Plucking my right eyebrow can lead to stopped up nasal passages. Which creates pressure. Which creates pain.
  9. I don’t look too shabby with a normal left eyebrow and a bushy Greek right eyebrow.
  10. Just kidding. That would look horrible.
  11. It would be like reliving my awkward Junior High Days with half my face.
  12. Bronchitis that lasts for three weeks can really be a bummer when paired with a broken nose.
  13. People tend to look very closely at your nose when you blog that it is broken. As if staring at it is going to make it instantaneously grow a bump, or take a turn for the left, or swell to twice its size.
  14. If it did swell to twice its size, I could let my eyebrows bushify – because then I’d have the big Greek nose to accompany them.
  15. If I did that, I would get attention for a whole new celebrity similarity to add to my list:

    Susan Boyle

  16. Even after six weeks, it can cause great discomfort when you find yourself accidentally yet heartily head-butted in the nose by a toddler.
  17. In fact, it may feel like it was re-broken, and you may spend the rest of the night wiggling your nose, trying to figure out if it came loose.
  18. The impact and subsequent wiggling, however, will remind you to finish writing a blog post about all of the things you learned from a broken nose.

14 thoughts on “18 Things I Learned From a Broken Nose.

  1. Broken noses are so much fun, partly because you do forget and then realize how much you actually touch your nose or someone touches it hugging, etc.

  2. #3 made me laugh out loud, which is impressive considering I'm reading this while I am waiting on Amy Beth to cry herself to sleep so I can go to bed.

  3. Your nose looks as perfectly straight and lovely as ever, so I vote that it is all better and healed up just like it was supposed to. God hears the prayers of preschoolers, no doubt about that!!

  4. Now I feel guilty that I forgot you had broken your nose. I could have accidentally hurt you too. I don't know how, but where there's a will, there's a way. Except there's no will here. I'm done.

  5. Why do their little heads find contact with the most painful spot imaginable? LuLu must have bopped my husband at least five times in the face this week! Good thing for pain medication, he didn't care if it hurt:)

  6. If you had to break your nose at least it was a very blogworthy experience. But then again aren't they all very bloggable experiences?
    Glad your nose is probably all better. :)
    Here's hoping the bronchitis is about done too.

  7. Wow, that sounds like quite an experience…I'm glad I've never had to go through it. :)

    Glad it's finally (maybe?) healed!

  8. hmm, don't wiggle it too much or your ENT will decide after the fact he needs to "reset" it. That would cost a couple of ITunes.

  9. Was reading some of your posts this morning!They're just a hoot and sometimes after reading about my eggrolls, I get a little bleary eyed. I need some humor..a funny picture..a funny story.

    I had read the "broken nose" post before, but today (for whatev reason), I decided to re-read (sp?) it.

    When Rachel was a tiny baby, now this was before "carseats" were mandatory and we STILL had one..and we always used it. Except for one cold, cold morning when we had people in our car the night before from church. We had taken the carseat out..and being always late..even when I had ONE child..I put it in the car..but, didn't fasten it up. Rach's babysitter was only 10 minutes away and not on any busy streets.

    So..being so beautiful, cooing to me, laying so ladylike on her plethora of blankets, I looked down to tell her just how "nuts" the day was going to be.

    That was when the person in front of me chose to turn..whose back brake lights and turn indicators things were OUT. I plowed into him..we were going about 30 MPH..and (not wearing a seat belt..yet another lesson), I came down hard on the steering column. I made a mess of part of the windsheild..and yet..God in HIS INFINITE PROTECTION..allowed Rachel to just slide gently onto the floorboard still cooing through it all.

    Not only did I break my nose, get a stern discussion from the police officer as well as the ticket, totalled our car, got my insurance cancelled due to who knows what the other guy got, but I was crying because I was dripping blood all over my brand new sheared rabbit coat..all the rage in 1981..and it wasn't inexpensive.

    However, Rachel was always "protected" as my other girls have been, from severe harm or injury. She got sick like twice her whole life. She is everything I'm not..organized, disciplined, a "Betty Crocker," craft queen, and the list goes on.

    Here's the thing..I really wanted to tell you I've had 3 nose surgeries..pretty involved ones due to that little incident and a deviated septum as well. The last one "took!" And, it's worth it to breathe. But, I feel your pain. I loved your things you listed about the nose surgery.

    ONE THING FOR SURE…IF SOMEONE HAS HAD A BROKEN NOSE AND SURGERY..THEY UNDERSTAND. :0 I do..and I'm glad you got through it. the are a wrapping machine and a true lover of ALL THINGS CHRISTMAS!! Enjoyed looking at your pictures. Don't be sad for me…but, we didn't put up a tree this year. We're flying to Maui to see Rachel's baby sister. I'm supposed to be getting one of those little cute forlorn trees from Urban Outfitters and we'll put presents under it.

    Keep writing and "enteraining me!"
    Occasionally, I have a few blue days..but, Rachel and the eggrolls will be home soon. Her father and I adore the it's a bit tough. But, when she wasn't injured in the crash and her love for Jeusus and telling others was out there by 2 years old, I started preparing myself for what I knew her life would be and should be.

    Seriously, your writing brings joy to my heart on a few days when even though I am blessed beyond words, I'm still human..a mom..and a grandmother. What are you gonna do???

    Love you. Go Bama. Go Sooners. :)

  10. Finally! For the life of me. I head butted a wall and instead of using the top part of my cranium I guess a grudge style Eskimo kiss was the right thing to do. My nose is broken. And. So. Itchy! I’m all paranoid about catching a cold I only touch my nose with my inner arm and it’s like raking a saw blade across asphalt and I remember what it felt like to express my love to the wall. THANK YOU! I needed this good laugh and now I know I don’t have some crazy weird nose itchy illness.

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