There are many great mysteries in the world.

What happened to Atlantis?

How were the Pyramids constructed?

Where is Osama Bin Laden Hiding?

Why do they still make Mom Jeans?

Does Dolly Parton have a boob job or does she not?

We can all agree that these are mysteries that may or may not ever be solved. But there’s another Great Mystery that puzzles me to no end.

As much as men say that women are the illogical sex and don’t make any sense, there are a group of men out there that totally befuddle me.

Let’s call this group of men the Drive-By-Pickup-Men.

You know – those guys who, while driving by you, cat call, whistle, yell, wave way too vigorously, all while smiling as big as they can and, again, driving, speedily, right by you.

What is their purpose?

What is their goal?

Do they think that we will write down their tag number, con a policeman into looking up who they are, and call them to ask them out?

And anyway, that would never work because they’re ALWAYS in a company car.

And by “company car”, I don’t mean a nice black sedan. I mean the Little Debbie Delivery man…The Beer Delivery man, the Uniform Laundry Services man…the group of 5 Mexican men in the back of a Landscaping Truck…

And furthermore, their actions don’t seem to be at all related to beauty or availability. They might be cat-calling the 80-year old lady crossing the street at the pace of a centipede with 99 broken legs, the harried Mom with the five kids all crowded around her..the gender-neutral-from-a-distance “person”, the lady with THE THIGHS

I just don’t get it. I can understand (though not appreciate) the male species trying to pick up a woman when both are on solid ground, going zero miles per hour, in a conversable range. But if you are driving by at 35 miles per hour – what are you getting out of this exchange? What positive benefit are you adding to your life by these making-a-fool-of-yourself efforts?

Even if one of us DID want to give you more than a glare and a quick avoidance of eye contact, how would you go about further contact? If we waved back, would you do a U-Turn in the middle of the highway, risking the lives of you, the other motorists, and the thousand packages of snack cakes or cases of beer in the back of your delivery truck to come back and talk to us?


Please, SOMEONE, give me some insight on these inexplicably illogical Drive-By-Pickup-Men.

15 thoughts on “Men Are Crazy Too.

  1. Haha. I can't give you any insight on what goes on in their head, but I can totally side with you one this one!

  2. LOL… well, honestly, I think they are just trying to get some kind of reaction… I don't think they're actually expecting a date but whether you're flipping them off or flashing your boobs at them, at least they got some kind of attention (kind of like when the little boy pulls your pigtails in grade school :-p) And they know it won't work with every woman, but they just keep trying it until they hit the jackpot (hey, men love gambling :-p)

  3. Girl, I know what you are saying…it's one thing to be a human, but a male human…oy! But what can I say, I gotta get my treats somewhere! :)

  4. Is it even a question that Dolly has had her boobs done?

    It gives me the creeps when that happens though. Especially if they start following you for awhile. Freaky!!!

  5. It's craziness. I remember getting that kind of attention when I was a teenager. I'd get the whistles, and words like, "Meta, Mamita, oooh que linda!", (translation: "Look, Little Mommy, ooh, you're cute!). Seriously, that's the kinda stuff I was hearing. What's that about?!

  6. I have guys doing that driving by in eighteen wheel trucks all the time.I got scared the other day when a guy totally took his eyes off the road to wave at the red light and nearly ran into the car in front of him.

  7. When I was a teenager I thought it was creepy. When I was in college I found it annoying. Now, a getting close to thirty mom of two that is rarely not in a t-shirt and jeans….it makes me smile. I take where I can get it. :)

  8. Ah Mom jeans! SNL did a commercial parody of them and all I could think was I own those jeans! Heck i don't want to wear low riders and have everyone looking at my almost 50 year old butt. I'm thinking about inventing thong depends so when the young lower back tatooed generation is old they can still show their tatoos and I can be rich. (That way I can stay in a nice nursing home.)

  9. this is too funny, but all so true. I am a plus size women and they even pester me. I am thinking to myself are you all that hard up that you can't get someone to look at you. Then I think : I am 42 years old – been married for 21 years – have a six year old – a whistle and a look may not hurt as along as they keep on going and don't come back.

  10. These are men with a low self-esteem thinking they are making themselves look good in front of other men. They really don't care about you at all, it is just a show-off thing with them. Personally, I think it makes them look stupid.

  11. HA! I loved this! I have to say though, if the Little Debbie man were to throw Star Crunches at me while whistling and cat calling, I wouldn't mind it at all.

  12. I don't know what they're thinking either but I agree with Brook, I'm to the point where I take it where I can get it!

  13. My daughter is the recipient of this type of thing too and she finds it both disturbing and ridiculous.

    There really is no explaining this behavior.

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