The first step to recovery is admitting it, right?

There is nothing I like better than a new, pointy, pretty crayon. And, I’m sure that you other Moms can agree that it’s quite relaxing and therapeutic to sit down with a toddler and color.

After all, that’s what they encourage patients on mental wards to do. It’s nice to have an excuse to color without having to be locked up in a room with rubber walls, isn’t it?

However, I have a major problem. I can’t color without breaking nearly every crayon that I use. Not the tips, mind you – that’d be easy to fix. No, I break them clean in half, leaving both halves too small to hold onto.

My love of a nice, bold line coupled with the fact that I grip writing instruments very tightly works terribly against my love of a perfect-in-every-way crayon.

(And no, I can’t use the fat crayons or triangular crayons to cut down on breakage – I need the exactness of the narrow ones.)

Ali doesn’t appreciate my “issue” at all. She loves her stuff to be perfect too, and so every time I break one, I try to hide it really quickly or pretend it’s still okay by holding it straight with my guilty hand.

In fact, if I were really honest, it was probably me that broke the crayon in this post.

So, even though Chris tries to fix my mistakes for Ali’s sake,

Most of her crayons end up looking like this.
Because of me.

Sad, isn’t it? She never breaks her own crayons.

So I decided that she needed a brand new box of crayons because I was tired trying to color with broken ones since I broke them all – she deserved them!

I wanted to buy this amazing collection of crayons:
But unfortunately, they apparently don’t carry that at Toys R Us. So we settled with this behemoth of a box of beautiful, bold, shiny, pointy new crayons:
Of course, a couple of days later I saw the original set that I wanted at Michaels. I salivated over them, wishing that it wasn’t impractical to buy 15o MORE beautiful, perfect crayons.

At any rate, I tried my hardest to not be so hard on the new crayons. And I was actually quite surprisingly successful!!! Ali and I colored this whole duet of pages and I didn’t break a single crayon!!!
Notice my nice, bold coloring. Without breakage!! It IS possible!!

Yes, Ali did color on my page too.

And – believe it or not, I was totally okay with that!!

It’s a real sign of letting go of your anal-retentive ways and embracing parenthood when you can say “Yay!! Thank you for your help! That is beautiful!!” instead of “Color on your page, kid!!!! You’re messing mine up!!”

I’m quite proud of myself. Now that I’ve figured out how to color therapeutically without creating color-breakage-angst or color-on-your-own-page-stress, maybe I can avoid that rubber-walled room after all.

19 thoughts on “I’m a Serial Crayon Breaker.

  1. I used to think my whole box was ruined when I broke a crayon! Don't worry, us lefties tend to grip writing utensils a little harder. :)

  2. Ok. so now I feel perfectly normal for 'needing' new pointy crayons, which by the way I must organize in a color coded fashion! Darks-to-lights, please!

  3. I also love a brand new box of crayons & the built it sharpener is really cool too! I can't wait 'til Luke's gets to the coloring age.

  4. A broken crayon! That goes against everything I believe in!

    A new box of crayons… That's like a brand new notebook with no pages used. Ahhhh…..

  5. I love coloring with new crayons. They should make narrow crayons that don't break. :) Anyway, I'm glad you've gotten better at not breaking them. I hope you keep it up..(for Ali's sake). :) :)

  6. I am a lover of new crayons and a brand new coloring book. I don't even have children and I still break them out at random times. Stress relief!

  7. First, I need the rubber room because I love to color and always have and obviously no children in my house. At least now I know it is helping my mental stability. Second, you should never use Ali's crayons. I too like mine whole and perfect and NEVER broken; therefore, GET YOUR OWN. Maybe you should also get your own coloring books. Third, it is never impractical to buy more crayons. I have never let anyone else color in my books either. Now all your blogger people know how nuts this person really is. LYB

  8. Have you tried the "twistables" crayons yet? Our school system required them for kindergarten. They are super-cool and virtually unbreakable. (Except for the kid that fell on one and had it stick through his eye socket. They stopped requiring them after that year.) No running with scissors or crayons, alright, Rachel? :)

  9. You let her color on your page?! Way to go, you! I usually go to another room to do my coloring, or wait until naptime…

  10. Dude, you've got some mad coloring skillz! And I can totally see how that saturation of color could cause some breakage. You might want to go the route of separate crayons for you and Ali…

  11. Wow, I'm pretty impressed by that nicely colored picture! Kariya breaks her crayons, but that is mostly b/c she does NOT want paper on her crayons and will go to any length to remove it. :)

  12. I think the answer is clear: You get your own box (to break one crayon at a time) and she gets HERS. LOL

    Fun post.

  13. Can't say I am a crayon breaker – but cracked up over letting go enough to let her color on your page too – I need to find that place when I am coloring with my son!

  14. Wow — I'm still stuck on the whole "color your own page, kiddo" attitude, and mine is nearly 7 now! ;) How do I let go!?!?!? Ha-ha!

  15. I have that same problem, well, actually both of those problems. It has made me give up my love of coloring, but this post gives me hope! Perhaps I, too, will go buy my children some new crayons since ours somehow got broken and once again enjoy my love of coloring!

    I notice your first commenter suggests it's a lefty thing. Is that true? I'm curious because I'm also a lefty.

  16. I say go get the 150 tower of crayons, you can never have enough & if Ali (or you) are anything like my girls, you'll go through crayons enough to warrant the purchase. My girls get a new box of crayons for Christmas, Easter, their Birthday's and whenever else I can think of a reason to give them, lol.

  17. I write heavy handed and have the same problem and the same attitude about crayons being "perfect" when I use them. I can't even keep the tip of a colored pencil together.

  18. FYI "Serial Crayon Breakers" will soon be a thing in the past. I have invented a way to use about 90% of a crayon without even noticing it is broken if it can even be broken and they are even bendable. I believe it will greatly improve the crayon as we now know it and I am at this time corresponding with a international company to see what they think. I'll let you know when I hear from them.

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