I heard a rumor that today was the 10th of October, but that is not true. Today is the EIGHTH of October, which means that tomorrow is my birthday!!
Because, you see, I did not, in fact, spend my birthday laying awake all night with a stomach ache, then puking half my body weight, then passed out all day from an extremely rude stomach bug. Because that would be really depressing. No, it was only a somewhat rude stomach bug for having the nerve to come two days before my birthday, trying to ruin it for me. But I am all better, oh Stomach Bug, and I am going to fully enjoy my birthday tomorrow! And how lucky am I that my birthday falls on a Saturday so that I can spend it with my husband?!
So, if you missed telling me “happy birthday” yesterday, that’s okay! Because yesterday was the 7th, and tomorrow is the 9th!! So tell me tomorrow!! And for all of you, including my husband, who were (for some unknown reason) two days early in telling me happy birthday, thanks for being so prompt!! But try to be more accurate.