I was reading a friend from Church’s blog last night, and I got very wistful. All of her recent blogs are about ways that God has spoken to her through different random things in her life. It reminded me of times in my own life when I was extremely focused on and close to God, and that amazing feeling of knowing that God, the Creator of the Universe, just took time out to speak directly to ME. I still spend time with God daily and He still speaks to me, but not as often as during those times. As I was reminded a few weeks ago when we did spiritual graphing in LifeGroup, all of those times of extreme “personal revival” were during harder times in my life – times when I was over my head in work, school, personal issues, whatever, and I needed God desparately. I would have two, sometimes three bible and prayer times a day just to keep afloat, and so of course I was much more focused on Him and able to see Him speak to me through everything in my life.
Although the past couple of weeks have been pretty rough, in the big picture, my life is so perfect right now. I have the best husband on the planet hands down, I am LOVING motherhood (I made it through the rough first few months, and now it really IS fun!!), I have the perfect work setup – I work from home while Ali naps doing only those things that I love to do, I have great friends, wonderful family, the list goes on and on. . .basically, I have no ongoing hardships in my life right now. But yet I find myself missing those times of amazing revelation into the scriptures and intimacy with God. I certainly don’t miss the circumstances that drove me to Him, but I also would not go back and trade them and miss out on those awesome times with God.
So what I am pondering today: the scriptures say that God draws close to the needy. Does God really speak the most to us and draw the closest to us only when we’re needy? Or is it that I am not as needy, so therefore I am not clinging to Jesus as much as I did, and am not as tuned in for God to speak to me? Is it me or is it God? And how do I get back there? But please, preferably without the hardships!!

1 thought on “Desiring a Higher Place

  1. I understand EXACTLY where you are coming from, Rachel, because I have felt the same way before. One thing that is helping me is confessing to Him that I am not seeking Him as much as I do when life is hard, asking His forgiveness for it, and then asking Him to change me so that I am seeking Him with my whole heart in good times as well as in bad. I ask it in faith, because I know this is a prayer He will always answer. I do have to keep praying it, though, mainly to remind myself of my need, but He keeps answering it. Challenging me, even in the blessings, to be ever dependent on Him, and to hunger and thirst for righteousness.

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