It’s been a long week. My normally very emotionally stable and logical three year old has for some reason found the need to have multiple and quite sudden breakdowns. And for very little cause, such as the one about her best friend AJ, which, through tears, she told me tragically, “But she told me to go get Barney!!!”.
Who knew Barney was such an insult.
Last night, after attempting to go to a banquet (where kids were invited) and suffering through three more of these unbelievably unexpected and uncharacteristic random cries (“But I’m just saaaad”, “my head hurts”, “my knee hurts”), I hit the emergency-eject-we’re-going-home-right-now button.
On the way home, I found myself continually questioning my Lack-Of-Mommy-Wisdom into the situation…
What is going on?
Are we hitting the terrible threes?
Are these fits, or is she just getting dramatic?
Is this something that should be disciplined for?
What am I doing wrong to create this?
Why does it all of a sudden feel like I have a one year old again?
Besides the usual questioning of my own abilities and understanding, I was frustrated, spent, and had really had my fill of the crying.
Chris brought her inside and started getting her ready for bed, and I heard another meltdown. I buried my head in my hands.
Then, on a whim, I decided to check her temperature.
100.2.
In less than a second, everything inside of me changed. All of my frustration and aggravation, all of my “I’ve had it for this week” – it all instantaneously vanished.
It was inexplicably replaced with a wave of love, compassion, tenderness, and desire to scoop Ali up in my arms and hold her until she felt better, even if it meant holding her for two weeks straight while she cried her eyes out.
I laid in her bed and sang songs. Longer than I would ever do on her most adorable of days, let alone a challenging one.
I told her to close her eyes so that I could rub her eyebrows, and the way that she scrunched up her eyes and grinned just melted my heart even more.
I felt more love for her than I had all week. And it visibly made her feel better.
For a moment, as I experienced a supernatural gift of compassion and revitalization, all of my doubts, questions, uncertainties about myself vanished.
I realized that I really AM equipped for this Mom stuff.
His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. – 2 Peter 1:3
Just what I needed to read this morning! We are specially equipped with lots of love, aren't we? I was just questioning again this morning…does he not feel good, is this about boy who's almost 5? And I made a decision to be firm but very loving–not feeling well or just having a fit. Love never fails, right? Thanks for this awesome post. :)
Great post! Yay for mommy magic! I love those blissful moments when everything is right with the world! I needed that reminder after my worst nights sleep EVER. Thanks for the reminder! And the verse!!!
That was wonderful and perfect. Thank you for sharing, and thank you for the way that you love little Ali. She WILL rise up and call you blessed one day.
Absolutely! Thanks for sharing!
Rachel,
What a precious story. I love how, in an instant, our thoughts, perspective, and feelings can change when we know what is really happening with our child/children. I'm so glad you thought of checking her temp and then were able to nurture her in just the way she needed. I would have questioned myself in much the same way you did.
I hope sweet Ali feels better quickly.
It seems like this happens to me on a daily basis…I think I'm about to loose it and Luke says something adorable or Aubrey looks at me with a huge grin on her face and I'm reminded that these precious children are from the Lord and He will not give me anything that He has not equipt me to handle!
Hope Ali is feeling better!
Awww. Poor Ali and poor Mommy. Luke is sick, too. :(
A mommy's love cures all ills, even the germy ones. I have to admit, my brain immediately went to illness when you started your story. If only I was so perceptive about my own child's behavioral changes. Enjoy your cuddly bundle!
What a wonderful post to describe the perfection of motherhood. It never seems perfect to us, as we are constantly questioning every little thing, but to our children we are perfect and that is so incredibly humbling. You are an amazing Mom with a beautiful little girl. I'm so glad that you shared this little moment and hope she feels better very soon.
Now that's just precious! I LOVED meeting you yesterday and I had so much fun. Thank you for inviting me!!!