My Husband Has a Crush.

We went Christmas shopping on Sunday as a family. We had pretty much finished buying for everyone else, but we hadn’t finished shopping for each other. Being that we are pretty practical people, we typically do this in a very unromantic style of shopping together.

So we went into Sephora because I told Chris that one of the things I had been thinking about getting was a new perfume, because I hadn’t worn any in forever.

I hate perfume shopping, because your nose is completely fried after smelling the fifth scent.

However, Sephora has these little containers of coffee beans that you smell to “rejuvenate” your smell buds, or smell receptors, or whatever they’re called. But I don’t think they helped.

Anyway, as we’re walking around smelling perfumes and trying to keep Ali from breaking any bottles and dumping the contents over her head, Chris mentions that there is this particular perfume that he will smell five or six times a year from a girl walking by him that just gives him the warm fuzzies.

He has a major crush.

So naturally, I must find this perfume that my husband gets tinglies from. So we set off in search of this mysterious aroma. A girl came over to help us, and Chris very hilariously tried to “explain” the smell to her, using completely unintelligible analogies such as musical pitches and weight.

We left the store unsuccessfully and quietly after Ali dumped out a whole container of the little sample papers (which I DID pick up, of course).

Since he catches a whiff of his crush aroma 5 or 6 times a year, he decided that it must be a pretty popular fragrance, so he did a search on the internet for the top 25 fragrances. Then, on Monday during his lunch break, he proceeded to Belk, with list in hand.

Apparently he had two girls helping him (impressed that he was so intent on buying his wife a fragrance). He even got a whole chemistry lesson from one of them. He informed me when he got home that men typically like perfumes with musk in them. He thought this sounded like something you would use to attract animals you were trying to hunt, like deer pee.

So women, if your husband is a hunter, just go blot on some of that deer pee for your next special date.

However, he still had no luck.

After discussing the ages of the girls on whom he had smelled this delightful fragrance (yes, his crush is so intense that he actually remembered the complete strangers that were wearing it), we decided that the next course of action should be a visit to Bath and Body Works. According to him, they tended to be in the 18-25 year old category, so it makes sense that they might wear less expensive fragrances.

Which is fine with me, because “real” perfumes usually have too strong of an overtone for my tastes.

So, he tried that yesterday.

Still no luck yet, but he thinks he’s getting closer. And now that he’s started this search, he’s pretty determined to make me into his dream smell.

Hopefully we will find this magical smell before Christmas.