The 55 Stages of COVID Grief.

1. When you first hear of other countries’ lockdowns.

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2. Reading the new rules that apply to you. Every day.

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3. What you think of the rules when you first hear them.

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4. Arguing with the new rules.

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5. Realizing the rules are happening with or without you.

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6. When you find out you’re non-essential.

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7. When you realize you’re actually essential.

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8. Resolution that this is us.

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9. Determination.

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10. Doing what needs to be done.

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11. Denial.

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12. Every day, every news story.

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13. Surely there’s something we can do to fix it.

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14. Worst case scenarioing to make yourself feel better.

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15. Remembering relaxation is actually what you always wanted.

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16. Attempting to enjoy the relaxation.

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17. Reading too many articles.

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18. Trying to sort out what’s true.

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19. Thinking you had it all sorted out.

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20. Realizing you definitely didn’t.

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21. Having a news hangover.

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22. Realizing that every day has 24 hours that you will spend in your house.

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23. Accepting it.

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24. Realizing you will see no one but your spouse for the next 13 months.

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25. Renewing your physical touch consent agreement with your spouse.

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26. Accidentally seeing news.

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27. Perfecting laziness.

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28. Regretting laziness.

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29. Finding yourself talking to the inanimate objects in your house, and giving them new personalities.

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30. Realizing you have to go to the grocery store.

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31. Wondering if you can ask your doctor for a three-month coma.

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32. On your 153rd text to your best friend before 10am on Monday.

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33. Remembering what it was like to go to a restaurant.

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34. Telling yourself it will get better.

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35. Losing all sense of time, space, purpose.

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36. Crafting the grief away.

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37. Trying to figure out what you miss the most.

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38. Describing your complex feelings to your family.

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39. Bargaining.

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40. Depression.

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41. Acceptance.

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42. Rebellion.
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43. Being informative on Facebook.

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44. Not actually replying to informative friends.

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45. Being Judgy McJudgerson on Facebook.

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46. Not actually replying to judgmental friends.

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47. Being whiny on Facebook.

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48. Not actually replying to whiny friends.

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49. When you forget for just a minute…then remember.

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50. When your former life no longer exists.

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51. When your spouse arrives home from work.

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52. Forgetting completely how to people.

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53. Your daily undoing.

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54. When this is all over, how we wish we could greet every stranger we see on the street.

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55. How we will actually greet people for the rest of our quirkaparanoid lives.

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