On Nuts and the Blogosphere.

Like you, my inbox has gotten its usual case of severe Winter Flu. It’s a pox, really. A Plague. Every retail establishment I’ve never been interested in is sending me multiple emails a day about their Black Friday Deals and their even better Cyber Monday deals and their EVEN BETTER final sale prices and their AMAZINGLY BEST post-Cyber-Week deals.

STAHHHP.

But. Being a blogger also brings an entirely other echelon of contagion, as well.

Every day. Every stinking day. I get emails from brands suggesting their amazing product for any “Christmas Gift Round-Up Posts” that I might be writing. Or offering me hi-res images (squee!!!) of their fantastic new item in exchange for blogging about them. And of course there are the endless stream of non-humans wanting to guest post and possibly include an innocent link or two in their unbelievably meaningful post titled “Ten Steps to Picking the Right Vacuum for Your Household.”

Seriously. STAHHHHHHHP.

I always forward the best of these emails to Chris, because he, as a blogger’s husband, has come to truly appreciate the pain of a horrible marketing pitch.

Which is what I did with this beauty earlier this week that had the tricky subject line “Quick Question”:

nutsdotcom

Guys. I so wanted to reply back and explain to the Community Coordinator that any blogger willing to “create a conversation about on-the-go snacking this holiday season” for any amount of compensation, let alone the enticing promise of “and we will share our favorite posts with our Twitter community”, most likely doesn’t have any readers that are interested in what they have to say because WHO WANTS TO BE A PART OF THIS CONTRIVED CONVERSATION. I respect you, and myself, too much for that. 

(And besides that, who exactly feels comfortable typing in the URL “nuts.com” without all the trepidation?)

But I didn’t. And instead I texted Chris excerpts, and as I knew he would, he internalized the great email pain on my behalf.

Nuts Text One

But then.

Then, a few minutes later, my blessed husband sent me this repurposing of my photo from Monday.

NutsDotCom

Nuts Text Two

 

Because THIS is how you successfully reach people in the year 2015.

This message was not brought to you by nuts.com. Although it should be. And if nuts.com would like to buy my photo to skyrocket them into viral internet fame, it’s for sale. Because nuts. And my magnificent husband.