Someone Needs to Change the Dirty Diaper of Fashion.

Last fall during the American Music Awards, I noticed a very scary trend: the Adult Onesie. Onesie AMAs copy
It was disturbing, it was edgy, and, as I feared, it was the first step on the way to a new and terribly horrifying trend.

The Onesie is now known as . . . . The Romper.

If you haven’t yet laid eyes on this new and somewhat nauseating trend, you’re very lucky. But I’m afraid it won’t be long before the rampantly spreading epidemic will be searing your eyes as well.

In the past, when you would search the internet for “Romper”, this is what you’d come up with:Baby Romper

But no longer is the world that cute of a place. Now, this is the meaning of romper:

Rose Romper

My sisters, this should not be so.

There is a REASON that we are all ashamed of 80’s fashion as the Dark Ages of modern fashion – ESPECIALLY the early 80’s.

First of all, the prints are horrifically stomach-turning:Fab Floral Romper

The dropped waistlines add at least 30 pounds of completely unnecessary spare tire:Plaid Smocked Jumpsuit

And the embroidery looks like something that should be on the bottom of our Great-Grandmother’s tablecloths.Fab Embroidered Romper
We DO NOT want to relive these days, ladies! We’ve come so far to regress now!

The denim ones are especially horrible, combining Mom Jeans, Grandma Jeans, and even the Grandma-Jean-Waistband-except-at-the-TOP-of-the-Romper:

Denim Embroidered Romper
And really, what is any denim onesie without an 80’s belt to show off that accentuatedly hugifying waistline??
Sleeveles Linen Romper

And, if you’re proud of the fact that you’re sporting the early-80’s look, you can get it screen printed right on your romper:

The only thing I want with the year I was born printed on it is my Baby’s First Christmas Hallmark Christmas Ornament.

Since this lovely piece of fashion has evolved from a baby garment, it does lend itself to some burning questions:

Are there still snaps in the crotch?

Is there still extra room in the back end to house a diaper?

I hope I never know.

At least, since I’m pregnant, I’m safe from the curse.

Oh wait…

Maternity Romper

Yes, they have the especially nightmare-inducing Summer OR Winter preggo-belly ready versions!

Maternity Catsuit

Please, ladies, don’t let Romper happen to you.