Nobody likes dealing with a blowout.

(let me take a minute to define – “Blowout: bloe-out v. – an infant or toddler’s poop that exceeds their diaper in such a way as to leach out onto EVERY item of clothing that they are wearing, along with whatever they are sitting on and eating at the time of blow. Example of such cited here”)

But after cleaning up the current mess and moving on with life, there’s always the issue of the clothing affected.

That horrible, horrible mess that is the blowoutfit.

HOPEFULLY it was just the child’s clothing and not yours as well, but, whether immediately or later (if you’re not home), it must be dealt with.

I thought that Ali was out of this stage until a couple of Sundays ago when we picked Ali up from Sunday School. I picked her up to give her a hug, and immediately noticed something missing.

“Where are her bloomers??”

Chris dug around in her diaper bag and found them in one of the dreaded produce bags that are used at our church to seal toxic waste.

But that’s not what I’m here to tell you about. HERE’S the real story:

Sometime last summer, Ali was wearing an outfit that happened to be Chris’ favorite. It was pink camo – a Daddy sort of outfit. (The picture is of the outfit, but not the day it happened. It’s just for your visual reference.)

I don’t remember all of the details, but I know that we were on a trip somewhere. Anyway, she had one of the aforementioned blowouts.

It significantly compromised both the shorts and the shirt.

Nasty bad.

Stinky.

Messy.

Miserable.

Since we were out of town and not somewhere where I could immediately clean them, I put them in a Gallon Ziploc bag that I had on hand for such an occasion, and sealed it up.

We got home, and as I was unpacking, I was reminded of her issue when I found the lucky bag.

It was late, I was tired from a long trip home, and the last thing I wanted to do was to open up that bag, now looking especially appetizing what with the stinky steam fogging up the inside of it, and clean up that now settled-in-to-stay toxic poo mess.

But I knew how much her Daddy liked her to wear that outfit, so I didn’t just throw it out, even though the temptation was high.

I set it on top of the washer and vowed to deal with it the next day.

However, sometime between that moment and “Tomorrow is another day”, the bag managed to slip down in between some things in the laundry room. And since it wasn’t exactly something that I was looking forward to making a happy memory while doing, I forgot all about it.

Fast forward from last year to LAST WEEK.

I was getting our beach towels out of the laundry room to get ready for our trip, and lo and behold, what was underneath those beach towels?

A Ziploc bag.

And, although the pink camo was in and of itself completely camouflaged by spotted mold, hairy mold, brown mold, black mold, and green mold, my mind immediately knew what it was.

Oops.

Now at this point I would normally have a grotesquely nauseating picture of the VERY SEALED Ziploc bag for you.

However, in my haste to destroy the evidence and REMOVE THAT EVIL THING FROM MY SIGHT, I threw it away before my blog-instincts kicked in.

I haven’t admitted my trespasses to Chris yet, although I have been keeping an eye out for a new Pink Camo outfit.

No luck.

Let me know if you see one. Size 2T. And preferably NOT covered in mold or poo, or moldy poo.

25 thoughts on “Blowoutfits

  1. That is really gross. The Hazmat (sp) team probably should have come to your home and done away with said bag. Glad you threw it out before pics. LYB

  2. Oh, I did that before with one of my daughter’s outfits when she was a baby…only the bag got shoved under the seat in the car and was found by the guy that was cleaning my car (AFTER telling my husband it was a bad, horrible idea to have anyone clean my car!! – No one has since!)

    Hope you’re able to find a replacement outfit!

  3. Guess I should have said, no one except my husband or I have cleaned my car since…not that it hasn’t been cleaned in 8 years! ;)

  4. While I am sorry that happened to you, I am soooo glad to hear it happens to someone else! But, on the upside, clearly Ziploc bags are worth their weight in gold…

  5. i’m laughing so hard right now. not because you did it, but because it sounds just like something i would do. i remember those blowout ages. but you trade that for some other possibly disgusting things…oh wait…i have a boy. :)

  6. I have done that exact thing before. I’ll keep an eye out for a pink camo outfit. : )

    I’m rather thankful you do not have a picture of it…

  7. That sounds like something I would do. So far I have managed to hand any blowouts my nephew has in my presence off on either his grammy or his parents..I have a weak stomach and don’t think I could handle it. I admires those that do.

  8. Thank you! I read this post and then ran outside to my car to get a brand-new outfit that my daughter wore for the first time on Saturday and had her first massive vommitting-in-the-car experience. I had forgotten all about it…or maybe I was having convenient short-term memory loss…either way the adorable new outfit is now in the wash and doesn’t appear to have grown any mold in the five days it has been in the trunk. :) Now I just have to bite the bullet and wet-vac the car. :P Kariya is lactose intollerant so we have had more than our fair share of blowouts and blowoutfits!

  9. Thank you so very much for not posting pictures. I remember those days well even though my girls are now 16 and 13. You don’t easily forget the blow outs and the wake of destruction!

  10. Been around before but never commented….but had to on this one. HILARIOUS!!! All of us moms go through moments like those, so we can relate and laugh. I was laughing out loud and had to share it with my husband!

  11. Oh my word! I miss a lot of things about my kids being that little, but I surely don’t miss that!!!

    p.s. Coffee hurts when it comes out your nose from laughing. Just so you know…

  12. Wow… Rachel, that’s pretty bad. But I can certainly relate… up until the point where the baggie disappeared for a year! ;)

  13. Sitting in my chair cracking up! I remember when my teenage daughter would have blow outs like that – seemed to always happen when she was wearing tights! And why does it always seem to be girls? My son is now 4 and I don’t remember him ever having a blowout!

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