. . .Yes, I actually just quoted Shakespeare. It’s okay, you don’t have to clap.

My child is two years and two months old.

She still sleeps with a paci. She ONLY gets it for sleep – and has since 9 months old. However, I’ve been feeling guilty about her still having it at all for a while, and have been prepping myself and especially my sensitive and high-on-mercy hubby to take it away from her.

I planned to do it on a Monday, to maximize time to get used to it before going to sleep on a Thursday away from home at small group, and the rest of the out-of-routine weekend.

So 4 Mondays ago, I brought it up, but hubby told me it was too sudden. That I needed to take away her second paci first (you know, the one she holds in her hand). I submitted, and she didn’t mind.

3 Mondays ago, it was still too sudden.

2 Mondays ago, hubby suggested I try it at naptime first. Luckily, enough people (2) had told me that wasn’t a good idea, so I was able to tell him “everyone says to try it at bedtime first”. He accepted, but said not this week.

1 Monday ago, hubby said he needed more notice beforehand.

I gave him notice this Sunday night. He acknowledged that he was given notice.

I almost forgot last night but remembered right before I put her to bed, but conveniently after hubby left the room. I told her, “Do you want to be a big girl tonight?”

Lit up eyes. “Big girl!!!”.

“Big girls sleep with no pacis!!”

She didn’t object. I put her in her bed, and she started feeling around. “I want a paci!!”.

“But you’re a big girl and big girls sleep without pacis.”

She laid back down but then lifted her head to watch me leave the room, which she doesn’t usually do.

Went to sleep happy, with no problem.

Or at least she did.

I, on the other hand, had second thoughts.

A couple hours after bedtime, I started missing the paci.

I missed the cuteness, the ability to quickly bring her comfort, the availability to give her a paci on a car trip and her to know immediately that it’s time to go nite-nite in the car, our conversations about paci, the way she removed her paci every night before giving me a kiss, I missed it all.

Why am I taking away her paci again? Because it was all I could do to keep from running into her room, waking her up, and begging her to take me the paci back.

7 thoughts on “Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win. . .

  1. Awwww, poor Rachel! Me thinks you doth protest too much. Just kidding. I just had to throw in a Shakespearean-sounding quote, and that’s the only one I could think of.

    Maybe part of Chris’ reluctance was based on knowing how you would react. : )

  2. My advice to to stick with it and just go cold turkey. As someone who has just finished their son’s journey with a paci, I completely understand missing the paci, and but it is worth it in the end. I promise.

  3. I think you did great. With our children, we always went cold turkey at 12 months. Call me crazy! We just felt that timing was good for us and it seemed to work.

  4. Wow. I hate that was so hard for you. I’m am glad that she managed to be a big girl though and sleep without it. I hope it gets better. :)

  5. Awww, it’s sweet that you miss her paci. Just makes you realize that she really is growing up and that makes you sad. It did for me too when it was time to take away our babies nuk-nuks(that’s what we called them). They made it easy for us though when they chewed a hole in it. We had to explain that it was dangerous for them to have because they might choke on it…none the less, still made me sad. I have kept them though to show them when they grow up. Maybe you could keep Ali’s? :)

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