Therapy

So this is one of those times that the benefit of blog therapy comes into play. You know I’m all about hyping all of the positives of blogging, and so today it’s therapy.

You see, it’s therapy because I had a really crappy day, and I knew I couldn’t just not blog about it (I have to be real!!), but I refused to whine (I’ve kind of set myself up to having to keep to a “no whiner posts” standard now that I wrote the Forms of Blogging post). So, I had to deal with my bad day sooner than I might have otherwise have liked to so that I could share what I knew God was going to teach me through it. Well, I didn’t know WHAT God was going to teach me, but I was sure that there had to be a lesson.

To briefly summarize my day (this really IS brief compared to what it could be!), I still felt awful today – fever got higher, and had general symptoms of illness (no details necessary, right?). We did what we could today, but I just didn’t feel good, and it’s really hard to be a Mommy and feel awful at the same time. Maybe that’s why God usually gives Mommies amazing immune systems. Mine just hasn’t grown in yet.

Anyway, this afternoon, we went to Wal-Mart, and I managed to be backing out of my parking space at the same time as a very small and completely invisible Mitsubishi sports car was also backing out behind me. Yes, I messed up my one-month-old bumper. I was so confused when I felt the impact, because I had looked really good before pulling out (still gun shy from my last wreck). So after getting out and exchanging the usual apologies and decided who would call the police, I got back in and looked through the rear view mirror to figure out where I had gone wrong.

And I am not exaggerating, people: I could NOT see that car AT ALL.

You see, it was this tiny little sports car, and it was so low to the ground that in my tall SUV, it didn’t show up in my rear view mirror. He was pulling out too, so I’m hoping it is a non-fault wreck. And I’m thinking we should just “patch” my bumper rather than getting a new one since I seem to have issues with the bumper (but for the record, I’m not the only one – Chris backed into someone the WEEK after we got my new bumper – just left a scratch though and the other people weren’t damaged and didn’t want to call the police. Obviously we’re not supposed to have a shiny new bumper).

Then finally, as we’re coming home, I hear Ali doing her poop strain in the back seat. I get her out and take her upstairs, and on the way up, her diaper leaks alllll over me (Second time in a week! ). Except that this diaper is baaaad. Like, sick-bad. So I take her temp, and sure enough, she’s got whatever I have.

Anyway, so you can imagine that I was feeling pretty crappy (literally – ha!). Already felt sick and miserable, and then add the wreck (and getting pooped on). I was feeling a bit like a money pit: two wrecks and two trips to the emergency room (#1, #2), all in 75 days! And yes, I just added those days up, thanks to my blog. Then of course poor Ali didn’t feel good, and here I was feeling sick/bad and wreck/bad trying to care for my feeling sick/bad 18 month old.

So. I couldn’t blog about all of the above without some positive perspective (and I was really needing some new perspective for myself too, not JUST for you guys), so I came before God while mashing potatoes (also good therapy) for dinner and asked Him to please fix my attitude and show me what He was trying to teach me. He never disappoints!! He mercifully brought two verses to my mind, and through them showed me two things:

1) Perspective. Psalm 18:19 –“He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.” – God has blessed us SO much this year in so many different ways. We have been in constant awe of His provision and love that He has bestowed on us. There are so many people out there that are REALLY struggling – take McKaylee and her parents. McKaylee is Ali’s age and has an inoperable brain tumor. I admit it – I usually can’t read her Mommy’s blog because it makes me cry just thinking “what if that were Ali” – and not much reading makes me cry. Or my co-worker Sharon who had surgery to remove cancer yesterday. Or Chris’ old roommate whose house flooded yesterday while he was visiting his wife in Pennsylvania where she is getting long term treatment for a mystery ailment. Perspective. We are unbelievably blessed. A fender bender is not near the end of the world. It’s not even the end of the day, as God showed me by miraculously lifting my spirits!

2) Protection. Isaiah 58:8 – “Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.” – God is with us, no matter what comes our way. He is in charge of everything, and lets everything happen for a reason. I don’t have to beat myself up over having a wreck or feel bad about it (for one, because I really couldn’t see that dang car!), because God is in control, and I just have to trust Him. He’s even my rear guard for that bumper that we’ve smashed three times in 75 days!

By the time I finished mashing those potatoes, I was a new woman (so new, in fact, that I didn’t get this blog written until over 3 hours later because I was relaxing and enjoying my evening with my husband, with barely a thought about my wreck or sickness!!). God is an amazing answerer of our Prayers. He is always there when we need Him the most, and especially when we are so consumed with our immediate circumstances that we lose perspective on how small they really are.

However, they are still circumstances, so I’m headed upstairs to sneak into Ali’s room and make sure that there are no foul odors coming from her diaper.

But I shall be full of joy as I do it! ;)