1. Don’t pack any more than you can carry, by yourself, while holding your baby, because your husband will need to be gone for approximately two eternities while signing paperwork for the rental car.

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2. Point number one is completely impossible. Therefore, bring a friend. Two kids versus two parents in an airport is outnumbered, no matter what the numbers say.

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Plus, we all know that non-parents are much more entertaining than parents. Especially in crowded airports.

3. Make sure your kids study the safety guide – you know, just in case.

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4. However, don’t let them study the safety guide too closely, or they’ll decide that they really want to crash so that they can slide down that cool yellow inflatable slide.

5. The Sky Mall Catalog is great entertainment for a baby – although the next person in your seat may not appreciate the ripped out, wadded up, and slobbered on pages.

6. No, the Sky Mall Catalog most certainly doesn’t have germs on it that would be harmful for a baby. Why do you ask?

7. Babies that dislike car seats will love airplanes. Because who wouldn’t rather be cuddled by their Mommy than 5-point-safety-harnessed into a tiny jail cell?

8. However, don’t expect said baby to sleep on an airplane, no matter how tired he should be – he will know something very exciting is occurring.

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8. If you find yourself tapping your foot to bounce your non-sleeping baby and then you happen to look out the window and see the airplane wing bouncing at the same rate as your foot, STOP IMMEDIATELY.

9. Then, of course, you will laugh at yourself for thinking that you made the wing bounce, so you will tell your husband about it. Upon which he will laugh at you, and then say, “But, uh…don’t tap your foot anymore, okay?”

10. Make sure that your four year old pees as many times as possible before boarding a plane. No adult human body can possibly shove itself into an airplane bathroom with a four year old – at least not without touching any oh-so-much-more-germ-infested-than-the-Sky-Mall-Magazine surfaces.

11. If you fly to a later time zone and skip naptime, your four year old might sleep until 10 AM every day. However, your baby will ensure that you don’t oversleep by waking up even earlier than normal, seemingly impervious to internal clock normalities.

12. A trip to a different kind of beach may make beaching with children infinitely easier – as much as our Alabama snow white soft sand is gorgeous, Atlantic Ocean hard beaches make things like strollers possible, and is acceptable to kids who normally have an aversion to walking in sand.

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13. Also easier: the hard sand offers portion control of how much sand a baby can pick up at once.

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14. But it’s still wise to plug them up to prevent too high of a level of microscopic sea creature ingestion.

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15. The harsh Atlantic winds will keep your hair a horrific mess for the entire trip. This will be only magnified in it’s disgustingness by your four year old’s hair of ocean breeze awesomeness.

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Which, when paired with her 14-hours-of-sleep non-baggy eyes, makes you look even worse.

16. You should never harbor feelings of intense jealousy for your four year old. It’s just unhealthy.

18 thoughts on “Everything I Learned from Flying (and the Beach) With Two Children.

  1. Great pics. We definitely cut way down on the luggage for flying. Buy as much as you can at your destination and leave as much as you can there!

    1. Believe me – that WAS way cut down – usually we fill our car to it’s gills with crap! I was actually super proud of myself for my packing job – until I had to haul it all through the airport.

  2. Lol! Every day I have to fight the jealousy thing with Hazel’s long curly hair. It’s just so beautiful. She has the hair I always wanted as a child. Cute pics!

    1. Seriously – so unfair! How is it that kids get such great hair? Of course, the only thing worse than a daughter with amazing hair is a son with amazing hair – they don’t even get the full benefits of it!

  3. that is hilarious. you truly are hilarious. and a very creative blogger. And I totally agree with rule number 1, which was very difficult with all four of ours in the airport..

    1. I can’t IMAGINE having four kids in an airport, let alone all the luggage they’d take to get there in the first place! You have my sympathies!

  4. I’ve been out of the loop. I knew you were flying somewhere, but where did you go?

    Great post and love the pics! I have a friend (military wife) that traveled from Italy to Alabama and back by herself with 3 kids under the age of 5 for her sister’s wedding this past December. She is crazy and awe-inspiring at the same time!

  5. Ooh… summer… beaches… looks lovely. I’m about to wrap myself in coat, scarf, sensible shoes etc. and walk on our beach, but at least it’s a 12 min. drive, not a flight away…

  6. You can tell Ali that sliding down that “cool yellow inflatable slide” is really fun ;-) However, I suggest doing it in a training facility and not because you have crash landed somewhere.

    Also, just curious, did you use your Moby wrap during your airport adventures?

    1. I really thought I would – I had it easy to get to in my carry-on – but I ended up never using it the entire trip! Granted, he’s not as comfy in it as he used to be – I think he’s almost outgrown it – but I still thought I’d use it at least once…

  7. Love these tips! Nicholas was 5 months old for his first plane ride. Our pediatrician told us to give him a dose of baby tylenol about 30 minutes before take-off in case of ear pain. I think it helped him sleep too.

    Have you seen the travel space bags? They work pretty well and it’s easier to keep things organized when they are in plastic bags.

    http://www.amazon.com/Compressible-Vacuum-Seal-Travel-Roll-Bags/dp/B0009VCB6Q/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1310583517&sr=8-1

    1. That’s a good idea! The ear pain didn’t seem to bother Ali or Noah, thank goodness. We gave Ali gummies to chew on, and Noah had his paci and a bottle.
      And a really great idea about the space bags! I didn’t even think about that.

  8. Glad the flying went so well! In our experiences it’s best to avoid flying from about age 10 months to 2 years, before & after those ages are usually ok :)
    Great beach pictures of the kids, love Noah’s beach attire!

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