This post is dedicated to everyone who’s been complaining that I haven’t posted any pregnancy shots. (Besides the belly shots on B-Sides, anyway.) After this post, you may officially quit your whining.

Saturday: I realize that my legs don’t fit so well into my jeans anymore. Crushing reality. Hate all my alternatives. Start feeling like the pregnant Kate Gosselin.


Except without the happy smile.

Sunday: Chris tells me that the shirt I’m wearing makes me look much less pregnant and really cute. Look in the mirror. He has a point – it DOES minimize the belly. Thank goodness for the power of suggestion.

Start feeling like the pregnant Heidi Klum. SPL108212_003

Well, okay, maybe not. No REAL human looks THAT good pregnant.

But wear said minimizing shirt for the next two days.

Then wear similar shirt for the next two days.

Then do the laundry so that I can rinse and repeat.

: Go to the doctor, step on the scale. Gasp and then die from shock from the obviously-must-be-please-tell-me-it-is-malfunctioning-no-human-gains-that-much-weight-in-three-weeks scale.

THEN Noah gets measured, and he measures one week behind schedule, meaning that all of that ghastly amount of weight went straight into my hips. And face.

Immediately feel like the Octamom.

OctomomExcept with bigger jowls.

Need to find some way to comfort myself. That doesn’t involve caloric intake.

Thursday: Found a winter non-maternity shirt in the back of my closet (obviously a very long, flowy one) that looked halfway decent on. Good thing, too, since I have few winter maternity shirts and I’m not about to buy a whole new wardrobe for the remaining 8.5 weeks of percolating.

Made me feel, just, kinda, normally, like myself pregnant. IMG_1202Edited

…Except that the fading effect on that shirt looks exactly like what’s underneath it: stretch marks.

My emotions will be so happy when I’m no longer a baby-growing Petri Dish.

22 thoughts on “Being a (Pregnant) Girl is So Subjective: A Journal.

  1. Rachel – first of all, you look FABULOUS! Not even considering you have a whole other human being hanging out in your guy at the moment; you just look great.
    So stop whining :P

    Only 8 weeks, huh? enjoy the quiet :) For some reason, adding a second kid makes the noise/stress level expand exponentially.

  2. ONLY 8 WEEKS????????
    I look like you at 20 weeks honey. You still don't know the concept of big.
    I wish i look that good with ONLY 8 weeks left.
    You should really see my pregnancy post and see what the real big is. LOL.

  3. Oh Rachel, you look so good. With my first one I was low and stuck way out that you could put a food tray on top…no joke.

  4. Rachel you look cute and good, nowhere near Kate Gosselin or Octomom. Definitely more Heidi Klumish.

    I like the wintery top you had on, the fading effect didn't look like stretch marks.

  5. Um, shush! Only 8.5 weeks left! You look amazing! I made it in my normal jeans to 5 1/2 months. So, shush!!

  6. Oh and PS, my hubs called me "John and Kate +8" because my tummy stuck out so far with my second! Ya, she kinda ruined my whole mid-section!

  7. Holy CRAP that picture of Octomom is insane! I have never seen that before. Wow. How on earth do you recover from something like that?!? Crazyiness. You definitely look like you are 1/8th of the size of her!!! It's hard to believe you only have 8 weeks to go! You definitely don't look like you are that far along!

  8. I can't imagine having more than one baby "baking" at a time, much less 6 or 8!!! A tummy tuck afterwards would be absolutely necessary :)

  9. I think you look great! I'm 11 weeks away from being pregnant & have lost most of my baby weight (wish I wouldn't have stressed so much) Just enjoy it!!!

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