Pinterexia Nervosa is a body/home image disorder in which people have an intense anxiety over ensuring that their life is completely pinnable at any moment. This disease is most often diagnosed in women and most prevalent post-childbirth, as the quantity of contractible symptoms grow when children are involved. What are the Symptoms of Pinterexia Nervosa? […]
Now Hiring: Mom Caddie.
Hey! So I have pink eye. Actually, a more accurate diagnosis would be that I have pink eyes. Which means that it hurts too much to look at this computer screen. However, I’m in luck – last week, I ran across this post that I wrote in 2010 and set it aside to re-share. I […]
Parenthood 2.1
Dear Tech Support, I have recently upgraded my software to Boy Child 2.5. Although in general, this new version is very visually pleasing and much less taxing on The Motherboard, I have noticed some bugs and issues, and was hoping you could advise me on how to work around them since you were so […]
Parenthood 2.0: The Response
Oh look!! I finally got an answer from Tech Support regarding my Parenthood 2.0 issues and questions… Dear Motherboard, Thank you for your email to our tech support department. We will try to address all of your concerns and make suggestions for Boy Child 1.0 System Improvements. Regarding the system crashes caused by running Boy […]
Parenthood 2.0
Dear Tech Support, I recently upgraded my software to Boy Child 1.0. I’m also running Girl Child 5.0 and was previously running Boy Child 0.11 without incident, but upgrading to 1.0 seems to be causing some conflicts. Boy Child 1.0 is constantly overrunning Girl Child 5.0’s processes, creating both programs to either freeze up or […]
Aflac, For Mommies.
Dear Aflac, Hi! Let me introduce myself. I am an accountant with a specialty in Human Resources. Over the past decade, other than being a stay-at-home Mom, I have managed employee benefits for small companies, including supplemental insurance policies such as those you offer. Although I appreciate your catchy duck-based marketing strategies, I’ve personally never […]
BabyFax.
Nobody buys a car anymore without first getting a CARFAX. And nobody would buy a used baby product ever, EVER again if there were BABYFAX. Imagine going to your favorite kid’s consignment sale… only every item had it’s BABYFAX attached…. Oh! Here’s an adorable Easter Dress! And it has BABYFAX is attached! It looks […]
If I Were The President…
If I Were The President of Graco, all infant car seats would come with attaching PopeMobile-style glass cubes – So that if a baby wanted to hear himself cry on every single stinkin’ car ride, he could feel completely free to do so – without subjecting the rest of his family to his lung’s capacities. […]
Now Hiring: Mom Caddie.
Men play golf. (Some men, anyway – not my husband. And some women, I know. Forgive the generalization for a moment.) And, men get caddies. (Some men, anyway – surely not every man that plays golf can afford to have another man follow him around all day while he leisurely plays a game.) But at […]
Whatever Happened to the Dickie?
So it’s getting to be about the time that I at least start going through my maternity clothes, seeing what I can acquiesce to wear again and what I wore so much with Ali that I can’t bear the sight of, and getting them washed and ready completely engulf my wardrobe. I’m not showing yet, […]