A Technological Breakdown.

So I don’t usually do two giveaways in a row, but I need you to understand.

I HAVE TO DO A GIVEAWAY TODAY.

For the ongoing health of my mind, body, and even my soul.  I NEED to give you something.

(And it’s even worth $500, if that makes it any better.)

Let me explain.

You see, I got a new camera, and even a big girl lens.  This is all ultimately my Dad’s fault because he wanted my help choosing a camera that he could buy for my Mom for their 40th anniversary and I was all like, “Hey! I can sell you mine for cheaper than you can get a lower quality camera, and then I can get a new one and they have this new really awesome camera out and I’m kinda drooling over it and…”

So Dad liked this idea.

So I started shopping.

But the problem was, the camera I wanted was new – like, it had just been released the week before.  And I can’t stand the thought of paying full-price for anything – at least throw me a rebate bone or something! So I began shopping our local stores, Amazon, Adorama, and all the other places I could think of.

Maybe I can find a package deal that will get me what I want…

Or maybe Amazon will come out with one of their specials…

Or something.

The weeks of August slipped by without finding any such thing.

Mom and Dad’s trip loomed ahead of me.  They HAD to have the camera before their grand adventure!

So finally, I caved.

My camera was NOT going to go on sale.

…but on Amazon, the lens I wanted had a $100 rebate,  AND there was this super-duper Canon photo printer that normally cost $500, was on sale for $350, and, when bought with my camera, earned me a $400 rebate.  AND a $100 pack of super-big photo paper came with it for free.

So…Amazon wants to give me a $500 printer and $100 paper AND $50 cash.  Seemed like a good enough deal to me.

So I bit.  I bought the camera, the lens, the printer, and the paper.  And began psyching myself up for filling out two rebate forms PERFECTLY because they were worth $500 and I wouldn’t have them denying me my hard-earned cash.

The camera and lens came in quickly, and I enjoyed playing with them.  I delivered my old camera to my parents in the nick of time, and all was well.

Until last Wednesday.

But first, a bit more history.  In general, I have been a bit more emotionally unstable than usual.

“High Maintenance,” I believe it’s called.

A lot of stuff happened in the month of August, and it seems to have worn down my capability to handle life, even after receiving REALLY good news.

(The REALLY good news being that all of my Dad’s tests checking for metastasizing came back clear!)

But I’m still a bit on edge, and easily pushed back into levels of great anxiety over things that are not worthy of anxiety.

So, with that in mind, I had also not slept well Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday night.

So came an exhausted Wednesday, and a series of minor events, emails, problems, and little things began to pile up.  I was feeling overwhelmed and stressed about everything, and then the UPS man came.

And with him, the most inordinately enormous printer box I’d ever seen.

No – I mean really – this thing wouldn’t fit through my front door, let alone the gates of hell.

Now.  My office looks like a hoarder’s living room on a good day – between working from home, blogging, homeschooling, and running our entire life from my office, a lot happens in there.  And occasionally, the messes start to wear on my psyche.  Wednesday had been one of those days.

When I saw that ridiculously sized printer box, I began to get the vapors.

“Where am I going to PUT that?? I already have two printers – why did I order that?? This is SO not worth getting $50 back.  Oh my goodness oh my goodness….”

Then I began deep breathing.

“Calm down….maybe it’s just the box that’s big.  Maybe it’s like a bag of potato chips.  Maybe it settled in shipping.”

I opened the box.

It had not settled in shipping.

I sped up my breathing to keep from fainting.

In a completely illogical manic state of anxiety and hysteria, I began feverishly reorganizing my office.

Chris came home during this and saw my dilated pupils and shallow breathing.

“Um…what’s wrong?”

“It’s the printer.  It’s huge.  I don’t need it.  I shouldn’t have gotten it.  I don’t know what I was thinking.  I want to live simpler.  I hate it.  But I’ve got to get it put together so I can quit thinking about it.”

I cleaned off the longest filing cabinet in my office.  I headed back to the box and began pulling the printer out.  I about fell over, which would have resulted in the crushing of my chest by the evil titan-sized printer.

Canon Printer

Chris came running in the room.

“Whoa, whoa, WHOA! Let me do that!”

He held down the box as I lifted it out, and I pushed past him to get it into my office and in place as quickly as possible, hoping to assuage my extreme anxiety.

I put it on the cabinet and it fit perfectly.  And by perfectly, I mean barely not falling off of both ends at once.

“WHY IS THIS THING SO HUGE???”

I read the box.

“Oh.  It prints 13” x 19” photos.  …… WHO needs to print 13” x 19” photos?!?!?  The Louvre???”

I had to install the software on my computer and try it out to make sure it worked so that I could remove it’s proof of purchase and immediately fill out the rebate form and finish this ridiculous process.

The install went smoothly, until it said,

“Now connect the printer to the computer with a USB cable.”

What?? WHAT??? WHAT??!!!

The last printer I bought (aka received free with a rebate) works on wi-fi.  I assumed that this printer would do the same, seeing as how it’s newer and expensiver and sinfully huger.

But NO.

And I had placed it all the way across my office.  And they didn’t send a USB cable.  And I didn’t have one without unplugging something else.  And certainly not one that would be long enough.

At that point, my breathing reached new high levels of speed.  I ran out of my office and Chris caught me, as I tried to explain between breaths the latest cataclysm of debacle.

“It doesn’t (gasp) work on (heee) wi-fi (squeak) and it’s all the (gasp) way across my office (pig squeal) and I don’t have a USB cord (gasp) and I HATE THIS PRINTER!!!”

“Are you pregnant?”

“I don’t (squeaky pig squeal) think so.”

Ali, who had recently come downstairs for dinner and had been watching all of this, asked,

“Mommy, can I have a roll with my dinner?”

“I don’t think (gasp) I can talk right now.”

And I ran out of the kitchen and into the living room.

Chris followed me, and watched as I had my first ever panic attack.

I managed to get out, “I need to call Mom and ask if she’ll take the printer.  She prints pictures.  Surely she’ll take it.”

“Go upstairs and close the door.  I’ll take care of the kid’s dinner and bedtime.”

At that moment, I heard Noah rounding the corner.

“MAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMA!!!!!!”

“Go.  Upstairs.  Or you will get no peace.”

Ali: “What’s wrong with Mommy?”

“She’s sad.  So she’s going upstairs to pray.  It’s a good thing to do when you’re sad.”

And I was.

I was praying that Chris would CALL MY MOM RIGHT THEN and get her to come pick up that printer BEFORE I CAME BACK DOWNSTAIRS.

No but really…I was praying and I got my anxiety under control enough that I was able to laugh at the ridiculousness of it…by the next afternoon.

But I still called my Mom.  And begged her to take the printer.  And she said she’d talk to my Dad.  And he said no.

Which means that I still have The Printer From The Underworld.

That makes me very unhappy.

And I can only hope that one of you out there could be made happy by this printer…surely.

So.

If you want this printer, tell me HOW this printer will NOT stress you out and will actually make your life better.  I’ll randomly pick one of you sometime next week and ship it to you.

(Without the Proof of Purchase, obviously.  I WILL GET MY REBATE IF IT KILLS ME.)

And, if the paper comes in time, I’ll ship it too, because you might be the Louvre and need to print monstrous photos to hang in your Grand Ballroom or something.

Oh – and if you don’t want the printer, feel free to comment, too – just make it clear that you don’t want me to send you my problems printer.  And please assure me that you, too, have had a panic attack over something as moronic as a printer.

Leave your comment below!

Comments

  1. Sorry for all the stress you’ve endured, but your post is hilarious. I love the way you shop; it’s the same way I shop. :) That being said, I have not one, but *two* teens who are becoming great photographers. They would be beyond thrilled to take the printer off your hands.

    By the way, what is the deal with the manufacturers not including the USB cables anymore? I know it’s a money thing, but it is SO frustrating!

  2. What a huge printer!!! I would totally use it for homeschooling projects and to print pictures that I never have time to pick up. With 2 9 month olds who are about to keep us tied to the house for RSV season it would totally rock to be able to print pictures right at home.

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  4. You tell a great story! Sorry to laugh at your pain!

  5. Eeek! I love printing big photos! Maybe not 13″x19″, but I am guilty of a few 12″x12″! :) I do have one that’s really tall, but I don’t remember the dimensions!

    Anyway, I’d love it if I could take your problem off your hands! :) Hope I win!

    I have panic attacks over stupid stuff frequently. I bought a car seat that was on clearance, even though both of my kids have $280 Britax seats. I wanted it to be used, and I stressed over it so badly that my husband ended up returning it for me, so that I could calm down! :)

    • Isn’t it wonderful when our husbands manage to remove the item of stress for us?

      It was Chris’ idea to do a giveaway for the printer. (When I was still in hysterics.)

      I said, “But…but…but…the shipping!!”

      He replied with, “I’LL pay for the shipping. Just give the thing away!!”

  6. That printer is HUGE! Do NOT send it to me! I want to get rid of the Large one we have which looks like it is half the size of that one. However, you didn’t answer Chris’ question. Are you pregnant? I don’t think so leaves room for “yes I am.”

  7. LOL I’ll take the printer though I’d donate to my Mom and her church (she’s a pastor) because they could use it for the children activities, etc. In other words my Mom would get a ton of run out of that thing, but sweetie you aren’t alone. I once panicked over a shelf and made my hubby go buy a bookcase. For 3 books. So yea totally not alone on the silly panic attacks.

  8. Oh Rachel! No, you are certainly NOT the only one that has panic attacks over seemingly minor things. I’m sorry to say my middle name SHOULD be anxiety. That being said, I would LOVE to have the printer and share it with anyone who wants big prints. My Mom and I both print a lot of pictures and it greatly frustrates me to have to “farm out” any prints bigger than 4×6. Not sure where I would put this monstrous thing, but that’s a minor detail. :D

  9. Jennifer Paxton says:

    WoW! So umm…how much is the replacement ink on one of these things?? I would love to have it, I hate having to wait on pictures to be mailed to me. Because I DO NOT spend the 20-25 cents per photo to have them printed locally.

    PS,
    So happy about your dad, praying all continues to go well. Once it spreads it makes it alot harder to treat. I lived that nightmare as well. My dad was diagnosed with metastatic kidney cancer in 2000. It had already spread to his lungs and brain before they found it. He passed away in 2005, but wasn’t supposed to make past 2002 and was thankfully able to give me away at my wedding.

  10. You are toooo funnnny! And I totally get the extreme anxiety over little things-I do it all the time-its a lot more common than you think-but the way you wrote this had me right there with you freaking out over the printer from hell! Love your blog. Oh, btw DO NOT send me this beast!LOL

  11. I have panic attacks over being in small spaces, so if you put me inside the printer box, I would be your freak-out-friend!

    I would love to have a big-op-honkin’ printer to use. My teen son wants to go into film/photography in college and would flip out over such a nice printer! Are you sure you don’t want to keep it? You can make really cool things for your kid’s rooms or their teachers who will love you!

    Glad you didn’t get all “stove-up” lifting that box!

  12. Panic attacks over techie stuff are a regular occurrence in our household. :-) Technology drives me nuts. But my husband loves it. LOVES it. He works in the IT world. And he does computer refurbishing/repair on the side. His eyes would light up like a kid on Christmas with that behemoth printer. My eyes? Not so much. But I love him. So I indulge his obsessions.

  13. My family is currently without a printer and one that prints high quality photos would be great for my mom who is a great photographer. We could also print activities for my nephew to do. I am a little worried about the size since my house is so small but if I win my Dad can figure out how to set it up and where. See I am good at passing off the stressful stuff like that. Although I have had my share of silly panic attacks. Especially if things have already been stressful.

    Glad your Dad’s tests came back clear.

    In the event I win it and you find out shipping to FL is outrageous then you have my permission to give it to someone local. Not saying I am going to win just in case

  14. I just bought an enormous printer/scanner/copier so I don’t need another one. :). Just wanted to say I’m SO happy for the good news about your dad. :). I think we all panic over small things now and then, it’s usually a culmination of a bunch of stuff and then one.more.thing sends me over the edge. ;)

  15. I would love it! Monster that it is…we are getting married in a month and this would come in really happy. I wonder if I could set something up so it could print at the photobooth? Or I could give everyone giant photos of my shoes, since that’s the photos wedding photographers take now.

  16. LOL, you are hilarious and this sounds SO like something I would do. Sorry for your pain though, but if you want to send the sinful printer to me, it would make my life enormously (haha…sorry) better because I have a giant craft room and a large shelf that I could put it on and not have to run downstairs (2 flights) to the basement to use the hubby’s printer when I need to print something. =) Which makes me lazy, which is a sin, which makes me perfect for the sinful printer. (LOL) =)

  17. “Maybe it’s like a bag of potato chips. Maybe it settled in shipping.” One of my favorite lines ever! And no, I don’t have room for it either.

  18. Panic attacks suck! I’m sorry the evil printer caused you to have one. That being said, please don’t put me in the drawing. We have an assortment of temperamental printers here that I have to fight with just to print. Forget scanning – they absolutely refuse. Most of the time, we give up and just go to the UPS store to print, copy, scan or fax. UPS laughs when they see us coming.

  19. I’m so happy that your dad is okay! What wonderful news!!

    And no – you’re not the only one to have panic attacks over silly things. I do all the time. Big things? I’m completely stalwart. But don’t hide my can opener.

    And I would love a high quality photo printer – I just got my first big girl camera too! (It’s a canon rebel T3i – anything with interchangeable lenses counts, right?)

  20. Ok, while I don’t know about needing a printer quite so large, I do know that I would love a photo printer and I could put up with the size ;) Thanks for the giveaway!

  21. I do NOT want the printer – I take nearly all my pics on my iphone. Pretty sure that’s not the quality I want to be printing that size of picture from.

    But I totally would have done the same thing. It’s FREE! And they give me money back! And wow! Nevermind that my house is the size of most people’s apartments. And I would have had the same panic attack too LOL.

  22. Oh girl, as a busy homeschooling mom, photographer, and business owner in a completely unrelated field, I feel your pain! I’m all about trying to make my home simple, which includes walking through the house weekly with a bag for goodwill to fill up. My kids know to keep the toys they really want hidden from me on those days! That being said….I’d have a hay day with a printer that could print that large! I’d give it a good home and put it to good use for sure! :)

  23. I print a lot of things for work (we’re a billing company) so this would make my life less stressful on a daily basis!

  24. I do NOT want the printer – I’ve had my current printer for almost 8 years, and I want a new printer, but I want my next one to be wireless! And I definitely don’t have the space for that one.

    I’m so glad that your father doing okay.

    I’ve been saving up for my first DSLR, the T3i. I momentarily lusted after the T4i when it came out, but it’s not in my budget (or, rather, I’d have to save for much longer before I could buy it, and the T3i does everything I want it to and more).

  25. I do NOT want the printer.

    But my crazy breakdown last week was because I didn’t have matching outfits for my kids to wear to a junior high football game their dad is a sideline chain guy for. I mean really.

    It’s called displacement and I am the queen of it. :)

  26. So sounds like something I would order. ;) It would be the perfect incentive for urging my husband to bring me into the era of DSLR with a fabulous gift on my approaching birthday. (my current little point and shoot ain’t cutting it for this photography major) I could also make some pretty snazzy posters for our homeschool classroom. It would also encourage me to make a trip downtown to the art supply store to pick up some glaze. See, you wouldn’t even have to figure out how to get that thing shipped. I could just swing by and pick it up. Score for you: two birds with one stone.

  27. I do not have a printer. Not one. We just cant afford one. I have to go to kinkos anytime I need to print anything. It’s pathetic. I would love to win this! I would also print out the huge pics for craft projects and printing sewing patterns. This would be such a blessing for our family. Im sorry yours was cursed by it! Plus if you pick me I live in town and you wouldn’t have to pay shipping. :)

  28. You are too funny! I can still remember the first time I had a meltdown for a minor reason. My husband asked me how my day was and I just started crying (pretty sure that gave him the hint it wasn’t good).

    I bet you would end up loving this problem printer but if you would like to get this monster out of your sights I would be more than willing to take it. I love to print pictures and am sure I could find room for a 13 x 19….somewhere.

    Glad to hear you Father is doing well, VERY good news!

  29. Jenifer @The Part Time Potter says:

    aack! I just made a long post and it disappeared on my computer :( The number one reason that I need this printer is to encourage my husband to update my point and shoot with a REAL camera. (The photography major in me is screaming: ME, ME, ME!!!) I could also print some awesome charts for our homeschool classroom. And if I won it, I could come and pick it up while on my way to the art supply store downtown to purchase glaze to finish that pot I made for my grandmother but haven’t finished yet….sigh… She really wants her pot, I want that printer, and I would presume you really don’t want to attempt to ship the printer from hell. It’s a win win for all.

  30. I am a new reader and just LOVE ur blog. I have told my husband so many of ur stories because they are so well said. As a mommy of two I can defiantly relate!! (especially to the one about what not to do with a baby, I laughed so hard being that I have a 4 mo and the second one does way more then the first!)
    I just converted a room into a play/gym/scrapbooking room for myself n the kiddos. Also leaving in the country being able to print pictures at home would be a treasure (no matter the size!!) So It would be a blessing n happy kids as they wouldn’t have to stand in line at walgreens n ask how much longer…
    Also I’ve been there before… While pregnant I wanted a shelf to set 2 sports pics on from my oldest son. N kept freaking out because none of them were right!! So went to lowes bought this huge book shelve ( I had to buy more stuff to put on it since all I started with was 2 pictures!) and built alone at 9 mo prego! Love the post thanks for the laughs!

  31. I would love the printer, but do not expect you to ship it to Canada! I’m sure it would cost a small fortune :) But the anxiety attacks about buying stuff… yah I ‘ve been there and done that. I have to return the things right away. It bothers me having them in the house.

  32. Loved this post. I love that your dad’s tests came back clear! I love that Chris asked you if you were pregnant. I love that he said, “Go rest, and I’ll take care of the kids”– even for dinner (which is the most stressful time at my house).

    I actually would have room and would like the printer because I’ve been wanting to do some DIY canvas prints.

    Have you tried to return it??

    • Well, if I returned it, I wouldn’t get the rebate, and it’d probably cost a lot. Plus I’ve already cut the proof of purchase out! And since it is kinda free, it is better to give it to someone else!

  33. I don’t need the printer, but now I’m curious, are you pregnant? I can happily say that I am no longer gravid, I had my little girl on (not sure how I feel about this) the same day that Snooki had her kid.

  34. Oh, and I seem to be more rational now, tho that’s not saying much.

  35. Holy cats, I’m your girl! It would make me so happy to take your problem printer off your hands. My grand ballroom has been sorely lacking in 13×9 prints. (hah) but seriously, I’m a design buff who would put a quality piece like that to good work.

  36. I’m so happy that your dad’s test results were clear! I hope that things slow down and become more manageable for you in the near future.

    I would use a ginormous printer to make fantastic posters for the youth program in my church. I would print large photos of my family and hang them on my wall, I would print large pictures of other people’s families and give them as christmas gifts, and I would print large pictures for my close friends who are getting married this fall (which is all of them).

    Thanks for having such awesome giveaways! Even if this one almost cost you your sanity…

  37. I would LOVE that printer… would be so fun to print out some amazing photographs and art prints!

    Sorry about the panic attack tho! That is absolutely NO fun.

  38. Mary Margaret Talley says:

    I had an anxiety attack while I was washing dishes once… I scrubbed a glass top with such vigor that it shattered in a bazillion pieces and cut my hand. I was too busy worrying about why I kept killing my window sill herb garden (the one that was going to be so peaceful tolook at while I worked in the kitchen) to even notice that I’d cut my hand.
    I would LOVE to have that printer. We could use it for my art, the kiddos school, and my husbands business. I have a really nice camera, but am forever forgeting to print photos. This would nix that problem in the bud.

    • Ah! You just reminded me of another panic attack I had years ago. (I guess that wasn’t my first after all.) It was when Ali was a newborn, and I set a pyrex baking dish on a warm oven eye. It exploded all over the kitchen and into the giant pot of soup I’d just made. It was tragic.

  39. Hilarious story (to those of us reading it – not living it)!

    I would LOVE to have that printer. We are getting our photography business up and running now (www.herringtonphotos.com) and something like that would be fabulous to have.

    And you wouldn’t have to ship it. And I’ll even throw in a free photo session for you this fall (am I allowed to offer that or is that against some kind of rule)?

    Nice camera, by the way. :)

  40. I started a photo business earlier this summer and this would be great for some creative art prints I’d like to make and sell. I have room for it and USB cables & hubs gallore!

  41. I’m so sorry about your panic attack, but would love to take that printer off your hands!

  42. For starters, I am laughing with you, not at you! So sorry to hear the printer has caused so much frustration! I would love a large format printer. I would use it to print off my 12×12 scrapbook layouts. I would have to do some major re-organizing, but surely I can find it a place to call home!

  43. I do NOT want the printer. Let me repeat, NO printer for me. But I do have to say how much better this post made me feel. I have had similar come-aparts over equally random first-world problems. I’m glad to know that I’m not alone. I also found it humorous that Chris asked if you were pregnant. That’s always my mom’s response… Everything, in her mind, can be traced back to hormones.

    Great news about your dad!

    And, I still don’t want the printer. :)

  44. Hi there! I started reading your blog because my wife read’s it! Panic attacks are never fun so I hope I will get to the point. This printer wont stress me out because it will be for my wife. She is constantly printing things off daily (coupons, scrap book stuff, homework, weekly and monthly planning) and our current photo printer has seen better days. I can’t update it anymore because it’s getting old. She (my wife) has found ways to use a photo printer that I never dreamed of and when you print a chore chart using photo’s your 3 and 5 year old know what you want them to do with little reading involved. Not only will this new printer relieve my stress (I have an enormous desk that will hold the printer and hook it up to my desktop so she can wirelessly print from anywhere with her laptop) but it will in fact create happiness that will offset other stress. I thank you for your blog as it’s always fun to read!

  45. Eleanorjane says:

    No printer (and I doubt any of us could afford the postage to the UK) but so pleased about your dad! Here’s hoping September is a lot more relaxing for you. :)

  46. So…as a mom to two boys (and a third one the way!!), I am one of those weird people who like to print pictures. It saves me the fuss of waiting for a sale to pop up on Snapfish or some other site and…what’s better than instant gratification after taking an awesome picture!

    Totally jealous of the new camera you got. You’ll have fun with that.

    I’m also so happy that your dad is ok.

    Thanks for the chance. :)

  47. i don’t need a louvre printer but i’m so sorry for all the stress in your life! that photo of you holding the printer is hilarious. hope things get better! glad your dad got some good news!

  48. I would love this printer. It’s been on my wishlist for a while. I’d love to print oversized photos at home. Thanks for the chance to win!

  49. I totally sympathize with more crap you don’t want/need coming in the door when you are TRYING to do the ‘simple living’ thing.

    If I got this printer, it would be an awesome Christmas gift to either my brother (struggling artist) or my MiL (she does a LOT of homeschooling stuff for her grandkids as well as genealogy projects that might use printouts this big).

  50. I would love to have this printer! I need to add some spice to the walls in my house and what better way than to print pictures of your loved ones! I really enjoy your blog! You are a hoot!

  51. I am so happy to hear that your dad is okay. *hugs*

    Oh that is the biggest printer I have ever seen. But my husband would *adore* it. He is a huge techo-nut and loves doing geneology. He would probebly use it to print out his rather extensive (16 aunts and uncles) family tree. And we would end up printing his dad’s building plans too!

  52. Stacey Boyd says:

    Sounds like quite the adventure :) I’d love the printer! My boyfriend is an amateur photographer who lost his job in December. He’s been pursuing his love of photography with greater fervor since he lost his job, and giving him the ability to print some of his photos on a printer this size would definitely perk him up (especially since being unemployed, a printer like this is cost prohibitive!). I just know he’d love it and it would be well used.

  53. I love that your husband asked if you were pregnant! :) Of course, I was hoping that you would share such good news at the end of the post, but offering up the printer is pretty cool too!

    I’m sure I could use it for photos of my darling daughters! Thanks for the giveaway.

  54. Funny! Canon must have had a similar bundle deal on an older camera model last fall, because I totally recognize that huge printer. Please don’t choose me! My back is still recovering from hauling it to the post office for my ebay buyer!

  55. I would love to have your printer. We just came back from three years in Europe and have a ton of pictures that we’d love to decorate our new house with. It’s a big house, so big pictures would work better for us. We even have space and a cord for it :-)

  56. So glad your dad received the all clear (whew!!!)

    At least your hubby didn’t ask if you were PMSing! Asking about pregnancy is less insulting somehow!

    Don’t send me the printer; I already wish we had smaller (and fewer) printers! But your tale of woe was hilarious :) I’d be stressed out if it were me but it does make a great story!

  57. Yay for your dad!! You are not alone, my parents gave us a printer a few months ago and you have to push REALLY hard on the screen to get anything to work. So I spent an entire naptime (which I was very mad about) just entering in my wi-fi info. I ate an entire bar of chocolate as my reward. And then 3 days later our modem broke…I have yet to resetup the internet. IMd take your printer though, iMd do a lot of jumbo size printing! Does Chris (my hudbands name by the way!) Always ask you if your pregnant when you’re acting strange?

    • Oh. Wasted Naptimes are also a hot-button issue for me. That’s the WORST!

      And yes – I’m a fairly unemotional person, so that’s his go-to assumption.

  58. 1. I do not want the printer.
    2. Glad for the news of your dad, I’ve remembered him in prayer every time I check your blog.
    3. I give you permission to not reply to this post.
    4. Thank you for reminding me that I need to submit my rebate for my new phone. I had forgotten all about it which is not in my character but I wanted to make sure I liked the phone first before I cut off the code.

  59. Jennifer M. says:

    I am SO glad I stumbled upon your blog last month. I think we are kindred spirits. (And you live in Bham, and I used to live in Tuscaloosa, and I miss it terribly and your posts make me smile, especially your rant about your not-quite-beloved Jefferson County, which I actually SAVED because it made me smile in that perverse Oh-I-remember-that kind of way.)

    I can absolutely use this printer! I was just in Office Max with my husband yesterday — why, you ask? Oh, because I go to Office Max and Staples when *I* am having a panic attack brought on by an overly stressful month wherein I am overly emotional and perpetually on the brink of tears and/or a breakdown, or tears that cause or are caused by a breakdown, and office supply stores calm me in a weird Monica Gellar way — and saw a GIANT box of photo paper and thought, “oh, the things I could do with that, but who on EARTH has a printer that can print that big without owning a blotter?” And for a brief moment instead of finding calm as I perused the office supplies, I got MORE stressed because of the sudden need for a large printer that even a moment earlier I didn’t know I wanted or needed …

    Seriously. This was meant for me.

    I’ll cross my fingers we both find some peace soon — AND that I win this printer.

    • I love this story!! Plus, office supplies oddly calm me as well…

      We’ll be in Tuscaloosa on Saturday – need a picture of anything random??

      • Jennifer M. says:

        I think I replied to this via email somehow. Lord knows how. Thanks for the picture offer — what I would much prefer is to stow away and move BACK to Tuscaloosa, but I’m working on that. (The moving back, not the stowing away. Although it would be funny, and chances are I could fit in the printer box…) Anyway, just throw in an extra Roll Tide on Saturday and it will be like I am there! Thank you! :)

  60. Your reaction is too funny! It definitely brings new meaning to “buyer’s remorse.”

    You’re probably going to use your $50 profit to pay for the shipping of this behemoth!

    Other than planning fun projects with my niece, I can’t think of what else I’d use the printer for, but it would be used. I’m am currently printerless. :(

    Thanks for the giveaway!

  61. Rachel….I REALLLLLY would LOVE this printer!!! With the crafting business picking up, I can just imagine the things I could do with it! AND A HUGE BONUS if I won…I COULD COME PICK IT UP so you never have to touch it again OR pay for shipping!

    I am so sorry the printer is causing you so much stress, however. Who would have ever thought a behemoth printer would send you over the edge?

  62. This post made me LOL! I’ve had moments like that BUT only when I was actually pregnant! Glad you can laugh about it now!
    My church could use that BIG printer for sure! I hope you pick me!

  63. Wow that printer IS huge! Crazy! So glad to hear your Dad is okay! I’ve definitely had freak outs over minor things. I don’t think it has much to do with the thing itself so much as a culmination of stress. It just happened to be the monster printer that sent you over the edge. We’ve all been there! One time I freaked out because I slipped and dumped half a pan of noodles down the sink when I was draining them. It really didn’t have anything to do with the noodles, but about other stuff I was dealing with. Hopefully you can de-stress a little now!

  64. First – I’m so glad your dad’s tests came back clear. That’s wonderful news! I hope your life/stress level is able to calm down some!

    I’d love, love, LOVE this printer – It’d be perfect for printing my art and related stuff.

    PS. Use to comment here all the time – had my own blog – My Own Party of 5. Stopped writing and don’t comment on nearly any blogs anymore (Needed more time to focus on my money paying gig and family – Still don’t know how anyone maintains a successful blog while working and being a mom! I’m in awe lol) Still read yours religiously in my reader though!

  65. I am so thrilled to hear your Dad’s good news! I’ve been praying.

    I do NOT want the behemoth of a printer and understand your reaction ;-)

  66. Angela in Arizona says:

    I would totally be having a panic attack too! Most likely because I seem to do odd things like that quite frequently. And Chris gets an award for not freaking out as well! SO glad to hear your dad’s news! Loved, “Mommy went upstairs to pray”. That’s awesome and even better when it really is true! I’m going to say NO THANK YOU on the gigantic printer, but great post and I’m sure some one will luuuv that printer.

  67. YAY for great news about your dad!! That’ll certainly help him to enjoy his trip even more!!
    And for the love of everything that is holy, DO NOT ship that evil beast across the ocean to me. DO NOT put my name in the drawing. and DO NOT respond to this comment because, girl, you got lots on your plate!!
    But seriously, thanks for letting us laugh at your pain. :)

  68. I could definitely use that printer. It would force us to clean and reorganize our spare bedroom/office space that we need to do desperately. I take lots of photos and it would be nice to be able to print my own. As a bonus, I live in the same city you do so you wouldn’t have to pay shipping! :)

  69. That would totally not make me panic. I am a graphic designer and I create designs all the time that are large and would love a way to print those out. I also have the perfect space for it too, so no problems there. Plus I live close by so I can come pick it up and save you the trouble of having to ship it as well. Sorry you got a panic attack from that awesome beast!

  70. You are too funny, Rach! I will gladly take the printer simply for the joy of easing your pain!

  71. I know a fab babysitter during this internship that could prob use that printer:)….

    And soooooooo thankful for your Dad’s results! What great news before they started their trip!

  72. I’d like a new printer~

  73. oh my goodness… if i could get that printer, i would die. no kidding, but i just wishlisted several different printers on amazon. i’m drooling over it. really. i would use it for my shop so that i don’t have to keep ordering my prints from another company. plus also? i could totally pick it up! no shipping required =)

  74. This is so hilarious. I love it. I have to say, this printer would be a God-send for my husband. He has created a mapping website (www.topocreator.com) that he’s trying to get off the ground. He’d love to be able to print extra large maps for people after they create and order them. And we’re in Birmingham… so we’ll happily come take it off your hands!

    • Oooh…I LOVE going into the map store. So fascinating!! I have a street-level map of our zip code, and I just stare and stare…

      yes, I’m a geek.

  75. Great storytelling! This printer looks awesome though! I have been “shopping” for one with pretend money for so long! Ha! Homeschooling, scrapbooking, just photo printing… So many uses! So thoughtfulofyou to have a giveaway. I am now a new reader! Thanks.

  76. I would love a printer that prints any size paper. The whole broken printer thing is really getting old!

  77. You can so use that printer! Imagine the money you would save when you want to print 13×19 pictures! Plus, you can just hold the printer next to your computer while it prints. :)
    Talk about buyers remorse! ;)

  78. So sorry to hear about your panic attack over the printer. If I had that show up at my door though I’d be in heaven! lol And how cool you have the latest Canon DSLR. I need to upgrade my DSLR (I have the Canon Xti and it is super overused now), but I still get great photos out of it. If I had this printer it would be put to use printing some 12×12 scrapbook pages. We lost my Step-Dad in mid-July unexpectedly of a massive heart attack (he was only 51) and I am working on scrapbooks and 12×12 shadow boxes for my daughter, 2 nieces, and 3 nephews for Christmas of photos of them with their Poppy. Would save tons of money from having to have them printed online.

  79. I’ll take the printer if all it’s doing is causing you stress (which is obviously true), but I will say that my husband has very specifically bought cameras with extras like ginormous printers, sent in all the rebate info, etc., and then turned around and sold the printer on craigslist for a good price to make his all-around price even lower.

    I know that tidbit of info is a little late considering the giveaway, but…just a thought for future reference?? (Although, hopefully, you won’t be needing it for quite some time; the camera sounds awesome!)

    ANYhoo…I’m not entirely sure if I’ve ever experienced an official panic attack with the hyperventilation and the blacking out, etc., but with the level of 100% unnecessary overreaction I’ve had to some of the silliest things ever, I don’t think a full-on panic attack is necessary to relate.

    Hope things have (or will very soon) calm down for you!

    • Oh, and since that totally sounded lame like, “I have these too, but I’m going to be totally non-specific and patronizing…”

      My last freak-out was because I couldn’t find my purse.

      Yes, problematic, but worth shrieking at my husband?

      Um, no.

    • Yes, I thought about craigslist or ebay, but then (without researching) assumed the market would be flooded with these printers, or no one would want to buy them because they could get them for free. Probably still should have done it, though.

  80. We could TOTALLY use that printer in our small business or at home. In fact, my sweet husband has recently started reading your blog too, and he asked me tonight if I’d commented because he would really like to have that printer! I didn’t even know he was a reader. :) Plus, if we win, we’re local…so no shipping!

  81. My Mom wanted me to tell you that we would pay for shipping if we win it.

    P.S. I am really loving your parents blog about their trip.

  82. I’ve fallen a bit behind on my Google Reader feeds. So I JUST read this one tonight and I was very sad because I think I missed the drawing for this? But.. I searched the whole blog (and caught up on your blog feed!) and didn’t find a winner. Do you still have this giant printer?! :) I have to print posters for work and this would be fantastic for us! And I live local (no shipping!).. aaaaaand I live close to Silvertron Cafe (excuse for a yummy meal??) and if that isn’t enough I might work for a women’s clothing line who might happen to carry some Alabama gameday styles and we could probably hook you up with some fancy new duds in exchange for a fantastic printer.

    Yeah.. I played all my cards! Haha. But no seriously.. our warehouse is open to the public on Tuesdays and you can score some pretty sweet deals. We have a big sale coming up this month. Buy 4 get 4 free! :)

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