Consult Your Physician Before Starting Any Blogging Routine.

Remember last weekend when I mentioned my face’s graceful run-in with my camera on the camping trip?

Well, it’s time to elaborate.

This particular camping trip is a year-long anticipated destination for the dozens of kids that attend. There are games and scavenger hunts and treasures and friends and everything a kid could want. It’s Heaven, I tell you.

In Ali’s treasure bag, there was this Parachuting Chicken, for which I have developed a sharp dislike:IMG_5143 Stupid Chicken.

Anyway, Ali received her treasure bag, and we were going through her Utopia of Goodies together, all excitedly. She got to the Chicken and knew exactly what it was.

“Throw it up in the air, Mommy!! Throw it REEEEEEEAL high, Mommy!!”

So we walked out into the field, I pulled my arm back with all of the eight-years-of-childhood-softball-pitching power that I could muster, and I threw the chicken as high as I could.

Except that the chicken didn’t go very high at all.

Because on it’s fast and powerful upward ascent, my arm met with my camera, which happened to be in my jacket pocket.

And from there, my arm lifted my camera up into my lip, face, and nose, with all of the eight-years-of-childhood-softball-pitching power that it could muster.

It was one of those facial impacts that immediately brings tears to your eyes, not because you’re in pain (which you are), but because it just knocked every drop of liquid out of your head with the impact.

We walked away for a minute as I tried to silently compose myself. My lip felt swollen and busted, and everything hurt, but there seemed to be no spurting of blood, so I assumed that I didn’t permanently damage anything.

My lip swelling went down as my nose swelling came up. My nose was very tender and sore for the next two days.

Then, as the tenderness went away, my nose began a new trick: every time any pressure was put on it, it gave me an immediate and piercing headache.

Nice.

After two days of headaches, I started feeling a ton of pressure along with those headaches.

So, I made my second trip to the doctor in a week, only to find out that….Broken Nose X-Ray 1

My nose, she is broken.

(And no, my teeth don’t look like fangs in real life.)

“There’s nothing we can do about it, but the pain should go away in four to six weeks if it heals correctly. Just don’t touch it until then. And come back in six weeks so that we can make sure it healed right.”

Have you ever tried keeping anything from touching your nose? How about for six weeks?

I never knew that my nose touched so many things a day until it was told not to.

So, the moral of this story is:

If I weren’t a blogger, I wouldn’t carry my camera with me at all times.

And if I hadn’t had my camera in my pocket, that stupid chicken would have flown high in the sky, and my nose would not currently feel like it was filled with cement and daggers.

But I do it all for you.

Blogging: it has serious health risks.

As do stupid parachuting chickens.

Leave your comment below!

Comments

  1. I see you made the trip to pick your x-ray up. :) I hope your nose gets to feeling better sooner than 4 to 6 weeks.

  2. Elizabeth says:

    Oh no! This sounds terrible. I've only broken one thing in my life – my leg. I was in Kindergarten. I still remember the pain now, I can't imagine how painful it is to break something where "nothing can really be done about it".

    Hope it makes you feel better that all of us love your blog! Hoping for a speedy recovery for you!

  3. Oh my. You are a blogger and you are suffering for the cause. Don't give up.

    Seriously though. Ouch. So sorry.

  4. wow, I'm in disbelief that your nose broke from that! I'm so sorry to hear that, but hopefully the next 6 weeks will fly by (just like that chicken)!

  5. Thank you Rachel for your sacrifice. :)

  6. I, for one, appreciate your valiant heorics in the face of dangerous blogging!

  7. This Is The Day says:

    Wow, if I ever see a parachuting chicken I'm going to keep my distance! I had no idea that nothing could be done for a broken nose…that's awful! Good luck trying to keep things from touching it…pretty much impossible with a two year old around! K is constantly smashing my nose in her effort to give "gentle" hugs.

  8. Bless your heart…hope your nose feels better soon! And BTW, I think "stupid parachuting chickens" would be a GREAT name for a band. :-)

  9. So sorry about your nose!
    Maybe you should wear one of those clear, plastic face masks that basketball players where when they break their nose, so they won't receive any further harm to their nose :)

  10. Ooooohhhhh. Ouchie. You take care. The blog must go on… but no one ever said "break a nose!" ;)

  11. A CHICKEN BROKE YOUR NOSE! Kind of a weird sort of BIRD FLU:) I'm sorry it happened but that is a great story. I was an ER nurse for a long time and I never saw a nose broken by a flying chicken. Actually it was the dropping chicken not the flying chicken that got you.

  12. Girl! You have truly suffered for the cause. All I can say is milk it for all it's worth.

  13. I am sorry you broke your nose. I thought they put something on it so that you couldn't touch it. At least people in the movies always have something on it.

    Hope it gets better soon.

  14. Poet4Him77 says:

    Ohmygoodness. This sounds exactly like something I'd do! It's good to know I'm not the only accident-prone girl around here. Seriously, though, I hope your six weeks goes quickly without too much pain. I don't suppose you can build a nose cast?

  15. blueviolet says:

    Oh my gosh! I can't even believe it! But, I visualized everything you were saying and I totally see how that happened!

    Yowch!

  16. Jac @ Wuzzle Makes Three says:

    Sorry to hear about your nose! But, it does make for a good blog entry! (Which is after all, what you were looking for in the first place! LOL!!!)

    I too have a few embarrassing stories from my need to cary my camera everywhere… but none that have been that good :)

  17. Poor Rach! Stupid chicken. You should totally sue. Really, they should put a warning on the packaging.

    I, too, have had a broken nose. I will pray that you don't catch a cold or have allergy/sinus issues until it all heals up. Avoid sneezing, if possible. (Believe it or not, I sneezed as I typed that. Weird!)

    I don't remember you having Bugs Bunny teeth. I will stare at your teeth next time I see you. :)

  18. Oh, no!!!! I never knew blogging was a contact sport. Haha! Hope you are feeling better.

  19. Kitty Engle says:

    Now this was not the poor little chickens fault. However, you do have my sympathy as I have had 4 broken noses before the age of 17. I guess you would call that a tomboy. anyway, they do HURT. hope it heals fast. Oh yes, I would have to go to some kind of rehab without your blog.

  20. minimeblog says:

    Oh dear..that must have hurt. Fear not, brave blogger lady, your sacrifice will not go unnoticed (your uber-funny post is almost worth it). This reminds me of the time I amused a tired ER staff with my "a cow stepped on my toe" story (they said it was the best one they have heard that month). And I didn't even make that up. Ouch. Get well soon.

  21. Oh my word! You poor thing! I think I might have let out an expletive on accident if that had happened to me lol

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