So I have been doing The “30” Day Shred workout video along with the rest of the Bloggy World, and, in the interest of full disclosure and accurate blogging, I kept a diary of my workout experience to be able to properly review the
DVD of Doom product.
Without further ado, here is my Shredded Journal:
Video not as hard as expected. Can do anything for 20 minutes, right? Very fond of how fast it moves. Except for the push-ups – ha! As if I’ve EVER done a push-up.
Noticed later that night that my legs didn’t really care for traveling down stairs unless done in an octogenarian fashion.
Oh my goodness the pain. Unable to walk. Stairs are suicide. Have to use handrails like walkers with tennis balls on the bottom. Did Day Two anyway – actually felt better while exercising than at any other point during the day.
Ali highly enjoys shredding with me. Somehow her two year old muscles are exempt from the pain. Total Fairness Fail.
Sent Jillian detailed and deliberate hate mail for ruining my previously pain free life.
Excruciating pain in every muscle – seriously cannot believe that every cell in my body aches.
Shredded again anyway, knowing that I’d be in a wheelchair for it the next day.
Chris really wanted to go to the waterpark one last time before the summer was over. I, being the loving wife that I am, agreed. Waterpark not much fun when you cannot move without JILLIAN MICHAELS knifing you up one side and down the other.
Chris also totally didn’t understand or believe the level of pain I was in. After bragging that his 5 mile run beforehand would “even things out”, Chris joined me in my effort to Shred.
Said husband lasted about five minutes, with many breaks interspersed.
I created a Jillian Voodoo Doll and tortured it mercilessly by ripping it’s arms and legs off. Definitely didn’t help my arms and legs feel any better, but my sense of justice was relieved.
Oddly woke up less sore than I went to bed. First day I didn’t really WANT to do it, but I did it anyway. Holy Hand Grenade!! it’s sooooo painful. It feels like Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom sounded when they were frying that guy alive.
At the end of the day, Chris sheepishly admitted that he had been in quite a bit of pain from his five minute sample Shred the day before. In fact, going up and down the stairs had about killed him. Ha! Vindication.
Chris’ Legs still hurt. Mine don’t. Heh heh heh.
I hurt so little that I almost forgot to do the Shred. But I remembered. And it wasn’t bad. Maybe time to increase to level two?
On second thought, it’s probably like The Death Machine in The Princess Bride. Jillian will shave TWO years off of my life for each day on Level Two. Nah, will wait until after vacation.
Okay, maybe not.
Also noticed for the first time that my abs were actually starting to show some definition. Could exercise actually be WORKING?!?! That’s never happened before….
Got cocky. Moved to Level 2.
Seriously, Jillian, God never intended for exercise to be carried out while down in push-up position. Insanity.
Ali, however, seems to enjoy it more than she enjoyed level one. Already an expert in “Plank Jacks” (Jumping Jacks in the push-up position.) Nice.
Dinner at my parents. Ali proceeds to call all exercises by name and “school” Gramamma in how to do them.
“This is a Plank Jack. You get down like this….NO GRAMAMMA, not yet. You do this, then this. NOW you can do it.”
“This is a walk-down Push-up, Gramamma. Can you do it?”
Apparently, Grammama can NOT, in fact, do a walk-down push-up. But she did give Ali her own pair of weights so that she could further humiliate me with her toddler exercise skillz.
For a funny sounding body part, the groin muscle certainly doesn’t have a sense of humor. It actually makes all of life quite difficult.
Said a secret bedtime prayer that my groin muscle would still be pulled the next day so that I had a legitimate excuse to skip shredding.
Groin muscle woke up just fine and dandy.
Shredded with an intense and burning desire to shove my weights down Jillian’s throat. Not really sure where all the aggression is coming from – after all, I’m not sore anymore. Maybe Jillian’s meanness is rubbing off on me.
After all, I could have plank-jacked and accidentally kicked him across the room. Or Ali might’ve if I didn’t.
Thank you Christen Thank you Christen Thank you Christen Thank you Christen Thank you Christen Thank you Christen Thank you Christen Thank you Christen Thank you Christen Thank you Christen!!!
9/20-9/21 – Life. No time for Shredding. Darn it.
I hate you and I love you all at once. I’ve never felt so conflicted in my affections before, with the possible exception of chocolate. Wow, that’s ironic, isn’t it?
I did your exercise for 21 days, with only one day of break. I wanted to do 30 – I really did – but alas, I am not always as strong as my desires. The only thing I can think about is the way that you yell and scream at the contestants on The Biggest Loser who stop before the last two seconds of what you told them to do. And I know – I have disappointed you immensely. Luckily, as loud and brash as you are, I cannot, however, hear your screaming at me from here.
I DO intend on getting back on your Exercise Wagon of Wretchedness. As soon as life gets out of the way. Oh – and I get back from New York. And get caught up from being out of town. And I may cut down to 3-4 days a week instead of 7.
And again, I can do all this because I can’t hear your screams of malicious anger from here. I like it that way.
But at any rate, I thank you for my new abs, pretty flabby though they may still be. And they ARE guaranteed for 2 years, right?
Your Dropout-After-21-Days-Failure-Of-A-Student, Rachel.