Urban Legends Consumer Report: Listerine.

Every now and then, I’ll get emails with lists of great household cures for every ailment. They are always so random and out there, but supposedly “so simple”.

So I decided to try one.

We have HORRIBLE mosquitoes in our yard. If I were to give an example of how many mosquitoes will land on Ali and I the minute we walk out the door, you would think I was exaggerating. It is worse than anywhere I have ever been.

I don’t like putting bug spray on Ali (or myself – I hate how it feels), so we tend to go to the park to play rather than playing in our own yard, until we can figure out how to get rid of our bustling mosquito metropolis.

However, I read in one of these all-knowing emails that you can make mosquitoes go far, far away from you if you spray Listerine around you.

Willing to try anything to be left alone, I put Listerine into a Windex bottle and have been trying it out.

We went out on the porch Sunday while Daddy was cutting the grass. It smelled so good – a mixture of the rain, the cut grass, and that inexplicable aroma of Fall-is-on-it’s-way.

Of course, within 30 seconds, we were getting swarmed as if we had just poked a mosquito nest or something.

I’m not kidding – DOZENS.

Oh – and by the way – mosquitoes NEVER bother Chris. They WAIT for Me and Ali to walk out the door. Apparently he is the Brussel Sprouts of mosquito cuisine and we are the Triple Chocolate Mousse Cake.

So I got my windex bottle and began spraying the perimeter as fast as I could, and also directly spraying any mosquito that I could get an aim at.

I continued this for about 10 minutes until the porch was completely soaked and sticky, and the wonderful smells were 100% squelched by the overwhelming smell of wintergreen.

Our neighbors drove up while I was doing this and they probably thought that I was a crazy Greek neighbor straight out of “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” spraying my Windex bottle all over creation as the cure all to everything.

However, I think the only effect that it had on the mosquitoes (that I hadn’t managed to directly drown in Listerine) was that they had very fresh breath to bite us with.

Ali and I both woke up the next day with plenty of mosquito bites to prove that Listerine does NOT, after all, repel mosquitoes.

Just thought you should know.

Oh, and by the way, although my family is very Greek and can relate very much to that movie, Windex was not the miracle substance when I was growing up – it was Pinaseptic. My Dad put it on EVERYTHING.

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Comments

  1. I have never heard that rememdy for mosquitos. I have heard some weird ones though. I sympathize with you and Ali. I live in a rural wooded area that is close to the swamp/flood plane of the river anyway we have tons of mosquitos but I seem to be the only one who gets bitten and I can’t usually wear repellant because I have super sensitive skin.

    I also have to comment on the My big fat Greek wedding comment. My best friend’s father is from Greece and his miracle cure is not windex but Aspirin or rubbing alcohol. He is always taking rubbing alcohol on something. But he does kind of remind me of the dad in that movie…

  2. ministry mama says:

    I bet those mosquitoes were thoroughly snockered! I’m pretty impressed that they were even able to find your arm in the drunken stupor that they were in. DeLaynie can attract insects ridiculously fast, too. Edwin and I can go outside and come in without a bite while DeLaynie comes back in looking like she took a roll in a giant fire ant bed! Our girls are pretty sweet! :)

  3. Jeremy, Barkley, & Baby Woods! says:

    I like the line you wrote…It smelled so good – a mixture of the rain, the cut grass, and that inexplicable aroma of Fall-is-on-it’s-way.
    I’m just going to breath and think of this when things get tough! Very nice!

  4. Jeremy, Barkley, & Baby Woods! says:

    I like the line you wrote…It smelled so good – a mixture of the rain, the cut grass, and that inexplicable aroma of Fall-is-on-it’s-way.
    I’m just going to breath and think of this when things get tough! Very nice!

  5. Jeremy, Barkley, & Baby Woods! says:

    I like the line you wrote…It smelled so good – a mixture of the rain, the cut grass, and that inexplicable aroma of Fall-is-on-it’s-way.
    I’m just going to breath and think of this when things get tough! Very nice!

  6. Jeremy, Barkley, & Baby Woods! says:

    I like the line you wrote…It smelled so good – a mixture of the rain, the cut grass, and that inexplicable aroma of Fall-is-on-it’s-way.
    I’m just going to breath and think of this when things get tough! Very nice!

  7. Hi Rachel,

    I have been a lurker for several months. I love your blog and your outlook on parenting. I know this is an old post, but since it is summer (and you linked it on B-Sides), you may be dealing with mosquitos again. I don't know if the mosquitos in Alabama are different than the ones in California, but my dad uses bounce dryer sheets to heep them away when he goes fishing and it actually works! You might give it a try. He just keeps a sheet in each of his pockets and stays smelling fresh and mosquito bite-free.

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